This month has been filled with surprises! I finally quit the agency that posted me to MBS. Well, to me I have quited but to them I'm just someone who doesn't reply to their messages, but I couldn't care less. Found a new job with another agency that is definitely more friendly and more fun to work with! On Wednesday, I went for my first job assignment at Sugar and Spice at Labrador Park. It was one of the best places I've worked so far. The staff were very friendly though the manager is damn strict when it comes to service. I'm just glad that I didn't get scolded by him. Whew. I saw him scolding the kitchen prep guy and I felt kinda bad because it wasn't entirely his fault and I admire him for being able to suck it all up. If it was me, it would be a no brainer that I'd cry on the spot and the last thing I wanted was to cry on my first day there. Haha. Other than me spilling on a customer some fish sauce (thank god for her being extremely nice and forgiving me almost instantly, for a moment the thought of being scolded by the manager flashed through my mind and I did not anticipate myself surviving after that), I did pretty decent though it was my first time waitressing at a proper restaurant. I was quite surprised when the perm staff there didn't believe it was my first time waitressing for an F&B outlet. Haha. I take that as a good sign then? :D Well, the manager sad I did okay, so I should take his word for it and he wanted to hire me full time. It's not that I mind but travelling all the way there is kinda tiring. Anyway, he said he would ask the agency first so I leave it as it is.
Yesterday, I did my first volunteer work at J.P Morgan Marathon and it was damn fun! Well, at the beginning it was kinda awkward cause I met up with the girl whom I wasn't on good terms with recently, but I'm happy that we managed to patch things up yesterday! Haha. No more awkward turtles! We gathered at the F1 Pit Garage 6 and i was in awe of the pit. I was amazed by the layout inside though it was kinda empty. But being able to be inside to see the tyre marks and the layout of the pit is like every F1 fan dream come true. It'd be better if the teams and cars were in there but I'm satisfied. 2 years ago, I got the chance to step on the very ground the cars would be parked and saw the lot that Vettle took that year. Haha. This time it's in the pit itself! If it wasn't for the marathon I was running the last time, I would have stopped and ask my parents to take a photo of my standing on the no. 1 grid! Haha. Anyway, made a few friends with some guys from TP and they were a fun batch to hang out with. There were about 4 of them but we needed 3 ppl in a group so we asked them and one of them joined us. I would be lying if I said the start it was not awkward but the process as to how we started talking to each other was kinda funny.
We exchanged names.
*Awkward silence*
Asked to grab ice cream and we did! (MISS THE ICE CREAM FROM THOSE STANDS BY THE ROAD!)
*Awkward silence*
Finally we asked where he was studying and what course and we started bonding from there! We definitely worked well as a team!
Anyway, our role was basically to tag the runners' bags and store them in a truck and to pass it back to the runners at the finishing line. The epic part was the runners would be gathered at the area across the padang and so we were loaded into each truck and driven there. It was quite funny cause all of us sat at the back of the truck like illegal immigrants! Haha. Eventually, my group was assigned to a truck B and everything was set on a route to awesomeness and more fun. The cisco security guy assigned to our team to carry out the spot checks was damn friendly and fun though he looked scary at first. But soon the 4 of us were as close as anyone could be in a day. We laughed together, joked together and worked together. He was nice to help us with the marking of the runners tags and he was the only one out of the rest of the teams that actually helped and joked with us. Kinda sad that we won't be working together again but the friends I made yesterday won't be so easily forgotten. :)
Got my sights set on the next volunteer work at the Sundown Marathon! Hopefully my mum will let me go. :D
Friday, April 19, 2013
Monday, April 01, 2013
I shouldn't say stuff like I will post everyday at this rate cause it won't happen. -.-" So in a blink of a eye, a month has passed since my last post. Well almost. Another month has came and passed and it's down to 4 more months of holiday! Time is seriously passing way too fast. Anyway, a quick update on my life:
1. I finished all my applications for scholarships and uni. currently facing the dilemma of NTU or NUS. Heart is definitely leaning towards NTU. Haha.
2. Started working part time at MBS for the sake of money for my HK trip but it is damn tiring. I think this will be like the one and only period I'll ever work for MBS. Haha.
3. Collected my tickets for CN Blue concert!!! Can't believe it is just 2 more weeks!!! damn excited. hehe.
4. Saw my chem tutor at j8. I seriously couldn't believe my luck when that happened. x.x
5. I finally got my own ATM card!!! Plus a debit card and it's kinda sad to know that I spent $10 using it to make an online payment for a ticket to a bio career fair. This make me sound like a total loser with no life except on my future career. HAHA.
That about sums it up. My life in a month. Haha. Well, based on my last post about a month ago, it's good as saying that we are back to square one. A lot of incidents happened after that, I really said too soon or in this case typed too soon. I have no idea how to mend it back and I have really given up and if given a choice I rather things stay this way. But the problem is, fate seems to think otherwise as she has my hard drive which my brother wants back along with me volunteering with her to help out for some marathon. Seriously steph, what in the world were you thinking?!? I wasn't thinking.
Oh well, in times like these, got to go with the flow then.
1. I finished all my applications for scholarships and uni. currently facing the dilemma of NTU or NUS. Heart is definitely leaning towards NTU. Haha.
2. Started working part time at MBS for the sake of money for my HK trip but it is damn tiring. I think this will be like the one and only period I'll ever work for MBS. Haha.
3. Collected my tickets for CN Blue concert!!! Can't believe it is just 2 more weeks!!! damn excited. hehe.
4. Saw my chem tutor at j8. I seriously couldn't believe my luck when that happened. x.x
5. I finally got my own ATM card!!! Plus a debit card and it's kinda sad to know that I spent $10 using it to make an online payment for a ticket to a bio career fair. This make me sound like a total loser with no life except on my future career. HAHA.
That about sums it up. My life in a month. Haha. Well, based on my last post about a month ago, it's good as saying that we are back to square one. A lot of incidents happened after that, I really said too soon or in this case typed too soon. I have no idea how to mend it back and I have really given up and if given a choice I rather things stay this way. But the problem is, fate seems to think otherwise as she has my hard drive which my brother wants back along with me volunteering with her to help out for some marathon. Seriously steph, what in the world were you thinking?!? I wasn't thinking.
Oh well, in times like these, got to go with the flow then.
Friday, March 08, 2013
Portal Back In Time
I just realised how hard it is to keep blogging everyday since I come home tired and really reluctant to type my day out but if I don't, I think I'll really forget all the little incidents that might have happened. Today was one such incident.
It all started at the beginning of 2013 where we stopped talking ever since I felt like I was a substitute for you whenever you had nobody to go out with. But things changed during results day where we finally started talking again. I had to admit, it was extremely awkward. Thoughts like "What do I say? Where do I start?" actually ran through my mind. I don't think I'll ever tell you that I saw you on the bus. That I knew you were sitting at the front with your friend. That I pretended to look at my phone when you got up. That I stole glances to see if you actually saw me. That we took the bus to the side gate just to avoid you. Truly, I regret what I did and I'll confess that that isn't what a best friend should do.
When you arrived in school, you sat next to me like it was the easiest decision that you had to make and i really did not feel comfortable and I think you knew too. I had no idea what to say, fearing that what I say might hurt you instead. True enough, you started the conversation first and I thought things might not be that bad. After that, I promised that I would text you but I decided to text you on the next day and by like 7pm that day you said you couldn't wait for my text. Haha. Then you started telling me how you were waiting for me to initiate a conversation in the past 2 months then nothing happened.
At that time, I really wanted to go back to time to right my wrong but there will not be some hidden time travel portal that will pop up from my garden. Though I wished there would be one and I would have just forgiven you on the spot and started our usual conversation the week after though I'm pretty sure you will complain a lot but hey, everyone has their weaknesses right?
When you told me how awkward it had become between the both of us, it would be a lie to say that I didn't agree. But being myself, I am always willing to start off the conversation with where we left off and be as open as I was the last time. Though we might not have been talking much, I am pretty much the same person you knew for 2 years. But it did sting when our 2 years of friendship just crumbled when we did not talk for 2 months. I'm sure it will take a while to mend it back and I am hoping it is before you fly off for an overseas uni.
Just when I wished for a portal back in time, I think that opportunity came today. Though it might not have been the literal sense of me going back in time to talk to you in the 2 months, I felt that we really became closer after spending almost an entire day together! I definitely was hesitating about today since it will be kinda awkward especially since the last time I met you was like during results. Today, I can say that we ate good food, talked and laughed a lot! (A side point, I recommend Ippudo Ramen at Mandrine Gallery. It's superb! Go early to avoid the queue! :D) Like a portal back in time, I finally caught up to the present with you and it was as if that 2 months had never occurred. I really did enjoy talking nonsense with you and just sharing very random thoughts that came to my mind. I am really glad that I didn't give this opportunity a miss and neither did you.
Even though a time slip to the past do not exist, I do believe that opportunities to do what you couldn't do in the past really do exist in the form of a "time slip" in the present. As I found out today, for a "time slip" to occur, it must be the person who wishes for it to occur to take a courageous step forward and do what you regretted not doing.
Afterall, why regret not changing the past when you can change the present?
It all started at the beginning of 2013 where we stopped talking ever since I felt like I was a substitute for you whenever you had nobody to go out with. But things changed during results day where we finally started talking again. I had to admit, it was extremely awkward. Thoughts like "What do I say? Where do I start?" actually ran through my mind. I don't think I'll ever tell you that I saw you on the bus. That I knew you were sitting at the front with your friend. That I pretended to look at my phone when you got up. That I stole glances to see if you actually saw me. That we took the bus to the side gate just to avoid you. Truly, I regret what I did and I'll confess that that isn't what a best friend should do.
When you arrived in school, you sat next to me like it was the easiest decision that you had to make and i really did not feel comfortable and I think you knew too. I had no idea what to say, fearing that what I say might hurt you instead. True enough, you started the conversation first and I thought things might not be that bad. After that, I promised that I would text you but I decided to text you on the next day and by like 7pm that day you said you couldn't wait for my text. Haha. Then you started telling me how you were waiting for me to initiate a conversation in the past 2 months then nothing happened.
At that time, I really wanted to go back to time to right my wrong but there will not be some hidden time travel portal that will pop up from my garden. Though I wished there would be one and I would have just forgiven you on the spot and started our usual conversation the week after though I'm pretty sure you will complain a lot but hey, everyone has their weaknesses right?
When you told me how awkward it had become between the both of us, it would be a lie to say that I didn't agree. But being myself, I am always willing to start off the conversation with where we left off and be as open as I was the last time. Though we might not have been talking much, I am pretty much the same person you knew for 2 years. But it did sting when our 2 years of friendship just crumbled when we did not talk for 2 months. I'm sure it will take a while to mend it back and I am hoping it is before you fly off for an overseas uni.
Just when I wished for a portal back in time, I think that opportunity came today. Though it might not have been the literal sense of me going back in time to talk to you in the 2 months, I felt that we really became closer after spending almost an entire day together! I definitely was hesitating about today since it will be kinda awkward especially since the last time I met you was like during results. Today, I can say that we ate good food, talked and laughed a lot! (A side point, I recommend Ippudo Ramen at Mandrine Gallery. It's superb! Go early to avoid the queue! :D) Like a portal back in time, I finally caught up to the present with you and it was as if that 2 months had never occurred. I really did enjoy talking nonsense with you and just sharing very random thoughts that came to my mind. I am really glad that I didn't give this opportunity a miss and neither did you.
Even though a time slip to the past do not exist, I do believe that opportunities to do what you couldn't do in the past really do exist in the form of a "time slip" in the present. As I found out today, for a "time slip" to occur, it must be the person who wishes for it to occur to take a courageous step forward and do what you regretted not doing.
Afterall, why regret not changing the past when you can change the present?
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Somehow after I started blogging again, my writing skills are slowly coming back to me, after abstaining from essay writing for about 3 months. Not that I'm saying it is a bad thing but that it really came back to me at the right time when I am busy crafting out essays for scholarship submissions. In just these 2 days tons of stuff happened. Both hilarious and disappointing.
On a bright note, I passed my BTT!!! 50/50!! I was quite happy when I passed because it means that I can finally apply for a PDL and finally sit at the driver's seat! That moment of happiness immediately disappeared the moment I stepped out of the test room as I found out that the whole system regarding the application for a PDL crashed. To highlight the severity of the situation: Without a PDL, I cannot apply for a driving lesson, cannot apply for FTT, basically, I can sit behind the wheel. My dad actually when to inquire the lady seated behind the counter on the duration of the crash and her reply was:
"1 hour? 2 hours? Half a day? Can't really tell."
When I heard the 1 hour, I was thinking okay, I can still wait for an hour but came the half a day and I was like forget it. We are coming back another day. Just as we were about to leave, a PRC tapped my shoulder and spoke in chinese asking me to help him translate what the malay lady was asking him to do. I was seriously not the right person, seeing as I scored a D for A level Chinese and haven't spoken proper chinese in like ages. So I went "shi test ni de eyesight." At that moment I was like shit. Hahaha. There is no way he was gonna understand me. Surprisingly he did! Eventually, I found out (with much difficulty) that the lady wanted him to say out the colours. At least my knowledge of chinese allowed me to translate that part. Haha. The funniest past was that he said the colours out in chinese! To the poor malay lady. I had no idea how she understood what he said but apprently she did cause she went on to the next section and by then my dad had dragged me away cause I was stoning thinking how to translate each colour from chinese to english. Hahaha!
This is a sign that I should never migrate to China because there will definitely be a language barrier though I am a Chinese myself. Hahaha. After that, I headed off to school to thank my tutors and ask about my letters of recommendation. I went to ask my chem tutor for one and initially she agreed but later that night she called to say that she may not be the best choice regarding certain position of hers but I'll find out the main reason from her on Thursday. Sorry guys, but I respect her privacy so I won't blog about it. :) Anyway, that led me to this morning where I asked my physics teacher for one but he rejected me as he had many others to write for. By then I was really freaking out cause I needed one by 31st March to apply for the scholarship. So I texted my math tutor. Thank goodness she was willing to write one for me. Or so I thought. Apparently she wants me to send her a draft and she will edit from there. Hahaha. In my head, I was like are you serious? So I'm uh going to recommend myself? Why not? Haha. I went on asking her how do you write a letter of recommendation and her reply was it's your job to find out. -.-" Anyway, I just did and it turns out to be easier than I expected. So at least I will have one letter down and it'll depend on my CT next. Sigh.
It's getting late and I have piano tomorrow, so I shall end it here. :D
Record for 2013! Longest post ever!
On a bright note, I passed my BTT!!! 50/50!! I was quite happy when I passed because it means that I can finally apply for a PDL and finally sit at the driver's seat! That moment of happiness immediately disappeared the moment I stepped out of the test room as I found out that the whole system regarding the application for a PDL crashed. To highlight the severity of the situation: Without a PDL, I cannot apply for a driving lesson, cannot apply for FTT, basically, I can sit behind the wheel. My dad actually when to inquire the lady seated behind the counter on the duration of the crash and her reply was:
"1 hour? 2 hours? Half a day? Can't really tell."
When I heard the 1 hour, I was thinking okay, I can still wait for an hour but came the half a day and I was like forget it. We are coming back another day. Just as we were about to leave, a PRC tapped my shoulder and spoke in chinese asking me to help him translate what the malay lady was asking him to do. I was seriously not the right person, seeing as I scored a D for A level Chinese and haven't spoken proper chinese in like ages. So I went "shi test ni de eyesight." At that moment I was like shit. Hahaha. There is no way he was gonna understand me. Surprisingly he did! Eventually, I found out (with much difficulty) that the lady wanted him to say out the colours. At least my knowledge of chinese allowed me to translate that part. Haha. The funniest past was that he said the colours out in chinese! To the poor malay lady. I had no idea how she understood what he said but apprently she did cause she went on to the next section and by then my dad had dragged me away cause I was stoning thinking how to translate each colour from chinese to english. Hahaha!
This is a sign that I should never migrate to China because there will definitely be a language barrier though I am a Chinese myself. Hahaha. After that, I headed off to school to thank my tutors and ask about my letters of recommendation. I went to ask my chem tutor for one and initially she agreed but later that night she called to say that she may not be the best choice regarding certain position of hers but I'll find out the main reason from her on Thursday. Sorry guys, but I respect her privacy so I won't blog about it. :) Anyway, that led me to this morning where I asked my physics teacher for one but he rejected me as he had many others to write for. By then I was really freaking out cause I needed one by 31st March to apply for the scholarship. So I texted my math tutor. Thank goodness she was willing to write one for me. Or so I thought. Apparently she wants me to send her a draft and she will edit from there. Hahaha. In my head, I was like are you serious? So I'm uh going to recommend myself? Why not? Haha. I went on asking her how do you write a letter of recommendation and her reply was it's your job to find out. -.-" Anyway, I just did and it turns out to be easier than I expected. So at least I will have one letter down and it'll depend on my CT next. Sigh.
It's getting late and I have piano tomorrow, so I shall end it here. :D
Record for 2013! Longest post ever!
Sunday, March 03, 2013
BTT
Going back to school tomorrow to hound my teachers for appraisal and letters of recommendations. Hahaha. Have no idea who I should ask though. Shall decide tomorrow. Haha. Planning to ask my chem teacher for one for theA*Star scholarship but the thought of seeing her again brings dread. She did a pretty good job of fearing her for the rest of my life. Hahaha. But I really owe her for my A. Hard to believe that I'm saying this but she can teach quite well though my class is probably on her hate list. Hahaha. I have to update my cca records too cause my 2011 CIP hours aren't reflected on it. SIGH.
Seriously, why am I stressing myself over with applications? Oh and latest news, apparently to take up life sciences in NUS I need H2 biology which I didn't take and what's even better is that I have to go through a bridging course and pass their test in order to enter their course. I'm willing to attend the bridging course but if it clashes with my overseas trip, how to go?!?! I am not willing to forgo my chance to go to US just to stay in Singapore to study!! Sobs. Anyway, I praying that if there is indeed a bridging programme I just have to go before june or after june. Then I can still go for my holiday. Haha.
Tomorrow is going to be my BTT. Finally. After that I can start partical lessons officially. :)
Really can't wait to pass!
Seriously, why am I stressing myself over with applications? Oh and latest news, apparently to take up life sciences in NUS I need H2 biology which I didn't take and what's even better is that I have to go through a bridging course and pass their test in order to enter their course. I'm willing to attend the bridging course but if it clashes with my overseas trip, how to go?!?! I am not willing to forgo my chance to go to US just to stay in Singapore to study!! Sobs. Anyway, I praying that if there is indeed a bridging programme I just have to go before june or after june. Then I can still go for my holiday. Haha.
Tomorrow is going to be my BTT. Finally. After that I can start partical lessons officially. :)
Really can't wait to pass!
Saturday, March 02, 2013
What's Next?
At a loss as to what to do besides applying for stuff. Sigh. Have so much forms to fill, essays to write, personal particulars to enter. This is when I wish everything was automated. Like all I have to do is to key in my name and miraculously, everything will be filled. HAHA. Serious wishful thinking.
Anyway, finally submitted my first university application! To NTU of course. That's like the only university of which I'm sure as to what courses I want to take. For a moment I actually panicked cause on results day we received a yellow bag containing all the details regarding university applications but there was zero on NTU. I'm kinda glad at this point that I actually attended the NTU talk at MBS to gain some info of what are the various courses available and found the one I wanted. :D The catch here was that, being the forgetful me, I forgot where I placed that stack of booklets containing my future. So for an hour, everything was a mad rush, scrambling to find the booklets in this house of mine and eventually I did. Thank heavens!
To cut the long story short, I eventually submitted my application with the aid of the booklets. :) Biological sciences here I come! I think either tomorrow or Monday I will start filling in the forms for NTU scholarships. Can't believe that I am actually going to apply for them. Like what the professor during the talk said "Why don't any of you want 'free money'?" Haha. Indeed. Since my brother is entering university the same time as me I think a scholarship will really ease the financial burden on my mum. Then again, getting one isn't that easy. I'm going to have a list of interview dates ahead of me if I do indeed get selected! Having my fingers crossed. >.<
Tomorrow is going to be another busy day for me. Got to prepare for my Basic Theory Test on Monday. Everyone is telling me how easy and common sense it is so I am really hope based on my limited common sense I am able to pass it with flying colours. Hahaha. Sigh, so much things happening at once, I wish things would slow down and give me a breather. At least when I have finished submitting all my applications I am able to enjoy my holiday again.
Can't wait for this friday though, going for Adam Lambert's concert! Can finally enjoy him performing live without standing for ages and sweaty guys rubbing themselves agaist me. That was horrible. To tell you the truth, I'm more excited about CN Blue coming than Adam Lambert. Want a comparison? I am counting down to 13th April when Cn Blue is performing whereas I forgot that Adam Lambert was coming to town on friday.
That is the difference.
Anyway, finally submitted my first university application! To NTU of course. That's like the only university of which I'm sure as to what courses I want to take. For a moment I actually panicked cause on results day we received a yellow bag containing all the details regarding university applications but there was zero on NTU. I'm kinda glad at this point that I actually attended the NTU talk at MBS to gain some info of what are the various courses available and found the one I wanted. :D The catch here was that, being the forgetful me, I forgot where I placed that stack of booklets containing my future. So for an hour, everything was a mad rush, scrambling to find the booklets in this house of mine and eventually I did. Thank heavens!
To cut the long story short, I eventually submitted my application with the aid of the booklets. :) Biological sciences here I come! I think either tomorrow or Monday I will start filling in the forms for NTU scholarships. Can't believe that I am actually going to apply for them. Like what the professor during the talk said "Why don't any of you want 'free money'?" Haha. Indeed. Since my brother is entering university the same time as me I think a scholarship will really ease the financial burden on my mum. Then again, getting one isn't that easy. I'm going to have a list of interview dates ahead of me if I do indeed get selected! Having my fingers crossed. >.<
Tomorrow is going to be another busy day for me. Got to prepare for my Basic Theory Test on Monday. Everyone is telling me how easy and common sense it is so I am really hope based on my limited common sense I am able to pass it with flying colours. Hahaha. Sigh, so much things happening at once, I wish things would slow down and give me a breather. At least when I have finished submitting all my applications I am able to enjoy my holiday again.
Can't wait for this friday though, going for Adam Lambert's concert! Can finally enjoy him performing live without standing for ages and sweaty guys rubbing themselves agaist me. That was horrible. To tell you the truth, I'm more excited about CN Blue coming than Adam Lambert. Want a comparison? I am counting down to 13th April when Cn Blue is performing whereas I forgot that Adam Lambert was coming to town on friday.
That is the difference.
Friday, March 01, 2013
Unexpected Result.
The fact that I am actually typing this means that I have survived another major results day. The next one up will probably be for my Honours or Permanent Head Damage. If I do make it that far. Definitely keeping my fingers crossed.
So, how did I feel receiving my results? Simply shocked. To the point where words can't express what I felt. We gathered at the hall at 14:30 and sat in our classes. By then, my nerves were really killing me and I was trembling. The principal took the mic and gave her usual speech and oh, before that Ms Su came up to deal with the admin stuff and I really had a hard time concentrating on what she was saying as half or almost all of my efforts went to stopping myself from shivering like a dog left in the rain. Back to the principal's speech, she went on to announce the top class, top students, students with exemplary character who did well, CCA members who did well so on so forth. Yeah, as expected I wasn't in one of them. But by then, my mind went to wondering what if I screwed up such that I didn't obtain a single A at all. Obviously, I just freaked myself even more by thinking that way but just in time they announced the release of everyone's results.
I was the third to go to the front and receive it but before that we had to sign some form and update our personal details. Now, my hands were shaking like mad and I couldn't write properly. Haha. My email became so crooked and if you ever saw that piece of paper you wouldn't have believed that I was the one who wrote it. Hahaha. Finally, the moment that I have been anticipaing for the last 3 months had arrived. I shook my home tutor's hand and he looked at me and said congratulations. Here, I was thinking okay, may not have been that bad after all and little did I expect him to tell me my results out front that everything except GP was an A.
Seriously, I think I stopped breathing at this moment. The first thought that went through my mind was "My math got A??????" After that paper, I firmly believed that my math was beyond salvation but who knew, my hunches were wrong after all! If you asked how I felt, I would tell you I didn't have much feeling after that actually. Happy yes, but more worried for my friends than thinking about my grades. I was definitely sad leaving my school but I really hope I get the chance to catch up with them again!! On a serious note, I really thank God for His strength and power in guiding me and helping me achieve what I did today. I can officially say that the chapter of my life as a college student has come to a wonderful end and next up will be the ups and downs of my soon-to-be university life.
On a happy note, I bought my CN BLUE concert tickets!!!
Going there with no worries!
But first, I have to settle my uni admission and scholarship applications.
Sighpie.
So, how did I feel receiving my results? Simply shocked. To the point where words can't express what I felt. We gathered at the hall at 14:30 and sat in our classes. By then, my nerves were really killing me and I was trembling. The principal took the mic and gave her usual speech and oh, before that Ms Su came up to deal with the admin stuff and I really had a hard time concentrating on what she was saying as half or almost all of my efforts went to stopping myself from shivering like a dog left in the rain. Back to the principal's speech, she went on to announce the top class, top students, students with exemplary character who did well, CCA members who did well so on so forth. Yeah, as expected I wasn't in one of them. But by then, my mind went to wondering what if I screwed up such that I didn't obtain a single A at all. Obviously, I just freaked myself even more by thinking that way but just in time they announced the release of everyone's results.
I was the third to go to the front and receive it but before that we had to sign some form and update our personal details. Now, my hands were shaking like mad and I couldn't write properly. Haha. My email became so crooked and if you ever saw that piece of paper you wouldn't have believed that I was the one who wrote it. Hahaha. Finally, the moment that I have been anticipaing for the last 3 months had arrived. I shook my home tutor's hand and he looked at me and said congratulations. Here, I was thinking okay, may not have been that bad after all and little did I expect him to tell me my results out front that everything except GP was an A.
Seriously, I think I stopped breathing at this moment. The first thought that went through my mind was "My math got A??????" After that paper, I firmly believed that my math was beyond salvation but who knew, my hunches were wrong after all! If you asked how I felt, I would tell you I didn't have much feeling after that actually. Happy yes, but more worried for my friends than thinking about my grades. I was definitely sad leaving my school but I really hope I get the chance to catch up with them again!! On a serious note, I really thank God for His strength and power in guiding me and helping me achieve what I did today. I can officially say that the chapter of my life as a college student has come to a wonderful end and next up will be the ups and downs of my soon-to-be university life.
On a happy note, I bought my CN BLUE concert tickets!!!
Going there with no worries!
But first, I have to settle my uni admission and scholarship applications.
Sighpie.
I decided to change my blogskin to give this blog more life and a sort of feel to it. :) It's to help me start afresh on this blog and to continue filling it with events or stories about my life.
It's like 1.36am which is damn late and I am getting kinda sleepy so I shall keep it short.
Today was the last day at work for me. I kinda had mixe feelings leaving the office. I definitely miss the people there and it has been an mazing experience, all the fun and laughter. Looking back now, though it was only for a month, I don't regret choosing this job at all. :) After that, had a conference call with my lovelies and it has definitely been a long time though we spoke recently. Tomorrow is gonna be either good or bad and I am not looking forward to it. Sigh.
Anyway, to sum it up, please let tmr be one of the best days of my life. >.<
It's like 1.36am which is damn late and I am getting kinda sleepy so I shall keep it short.
Today was the last day at work for me. I kinda had mixe feelings leaving the office. I definitely miss the people there and it has been an mazing experience, all the fun and laughter. Looking back now, though it was only for a month, I don't regret choosing this job at all. :) After that, had a conference call with my lovelies and it has definitely been a long time though we spoke recently. Tomorrow is gonna be either good or bad and I am not looking forward to it. Sigh.
Anyway, to sum it up, please let tmr be one of the best days of my life. >.<
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Asphalt road.
A road that is never ending.
An endlessly lonely road yet many choose to take up such a path including me.
Everyday thoughts of "what am I going to do next" pops up.
Isn't this suppose to be a holiday?
A holiday down an asphalt road. How ironic.
Second guessing myself isn't a good idea right now but I am really stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Come to think of it, I'm no different from the rest.
Following what the others want me to do.
And the next question pops up.
Then what?
Shucks. I really want to write all of this messed up feelings out and lay it down somewhere for me to consider and sort them out into categories.
It'll be kinda cool to be able to dissect whatever feelings I have and think about why I'm feeling this way. Currently, this idea is not progressing well but it is sort of helping I guess.
I don't even know what I'm typing this time round.
Sighpie.
A road that is never ending.
An endlessly lonely road yet many choose to take up such a path including me.
Everyday thoughts of "what am I going to do next" pops up.
Isn't this suppose to be a holiday?
A holiday down an asphalt road. How ironic.
Second guessing myself isn't a good idea right now but I am really stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Come to think of it, I'm no different from the rest.
Following what the others want me to do.
And the next question pops up.
Then what?
Shucks. I really want to write all of this messed up feelings out and lay it down somewhere for me to consider and sort them out into categories.
It'll be kinda cool to be able to dissect whatever feelings I have and think about why I'm feeling this way. Currently, this idea is not progressing well but it is sort of helping I guess.
I don't even know what I'm typing this time round.
Sighpie.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
It was a first for me to be called a 'freaking liar' by one of my close friends and though I may be convincing myself that she meant it in the joking manner, it still hurts. Technically, what I said wasn't a lie. I mean, come on, how is 'jia you~~ It's the last lap!' a lie? Unless you are in denial, thinking that A levels are not coming up. Recently, I've been feeling like you treat me like crap and truthfully speaking I'm tired. Tired of your endless complaints like you are the only one in the world who is suffering from not doing well from prelims. Seriously, there are others who are not in great shape either so instead of moping around, why not brush yourself up and fight the last part with whatever you got? I tried to tell you, encourage you to not give up but you simply give up. Sure, I see you putting in the effort to brush up but to forsake one subject as well? Telling me that you need someone to force you and you have no idea where to start, I gave you a starting point but you simply brush it off with a sigh. Why not you tell me what to do next? Help you? I think you need to recognise that you have to help yourself first before others can help you.
I gave you whatever help I could but you wouldn't even open the book to practice. What do you expect me to do next? Whenever I gave you encouragement or try to change your pessimistic views, all I get is a 'You rubbish' or 'stop it kay'. So I'm back to square one. What in the world do you want me to tell you? Go ahead, fail. Yeah, you are so screwed. You can go screw physics as well. Heck, just drop out. Seriously, do I look like that kind of person who will heartlessly say those words to you? You have no idea how much I want to help you pass and do well but the way you are treating me just isn't it. Everytime you will get me to follow your ways no matter what I feel about it. I try and tell you what I really want to tell you but you make it hard. If it's not what you want to hear, oh yeah, sure, ignore me and throw a tantrum whenever you want and keep looking at your phone too. It'll help. I'm tired of being a 'replacement' to you where you come to me because I'll follow whatever you suggest. That makes me feel like a freaking pushover and that I can't speak up for myself. Everytime I try, I keep telling myself next time it'll be different or this is just temporary but I'm running out of next time's. I reall have no idea what my next step is or what to tell you next.
If you think that the whole world is turning against you, let me say this first, it was you who turned against the world. I give up. Your stubborn, impulsive mannerism has finally broke my last thread of patience and I'm gonna leave it as it is. I'm not going to be the one who says sorry. Not this time.
I gave you whatever help I could but you wouldn't even open the book to practice. What do you expect me to do next? Whenever I gave you encouragement or try to change your pessimistic views, all I get is a 'You rubbish' or 'stop it kay'. So I'm back to square one. What in the world do you want me to tell you? Go ahead, fail. Yeah, you are so screwed. You can go screw physics as well. Heck, just drop out. Seriously, do I look like that kind of person who will heartlessly say those words to you? You have no idea how much I want to help you pass and do well but the way you are treating me just isn't it. Everytime you will get me to follow your ways no matter what I feel about it. I try and tell you what I really want to tell you but you make it hard. If it's not what you want to hear, oh yeah, sure, ignore me and throw a tantrum whenever you want and keep looking at your phone too. It'll help. I'm tired of being a 'replacement' to you where you come to me because I'll follow whatever you suggest. That makes me feel like a freaking pushover and that I can't speak up for myself. Everytime I try, I keep telling myself next time it'll be different or this is just temporary but I'm running out of next time's. I reall have no idea what my next step is or what to tell you next.
If you think that the whole world is turning against you, let me say this first, it was you who turned against the world. I give up. Your stubborn, impulsive mannerism has finally broke my last thread of patience and I'm gonna leave it as it is. I'm not going to be the one who says sorry. Not this time.
Saturday, October 06, 2012
It has definitely been a long while. To the point where i can't even recognise the layout for blogger. Haha. The other day I actually had a friend asking me if I ever had a blog. I actually told her I did and showed it to her. She did call me old fashion but hey, I'm a diary kind of person. Haha. That got me thinking that I haven't typed anything in here for a while, so I decided to bring it back to life today. :D
I don't really know where to start but let's start with the basics first? Today was kinda exciting, given that my brother actually experienced a flat tyre while he was driving today and believe me when I say the hole was big. Haha. He is probably going to remember this day for life. Okay, I think I have kinda warmed up and my thoughts are finally flowing to me. :D
Anyway, A's are just round the corner and honestly I don't feel prepared. Then again, who does? My sis just ended PSLE and like her, I really do have the urge to party too. :'( But I really have to focus and get my stuff together. There have been countless times when I wished I was back in Secondary school where things weren't as stressful as they are now. Sighpie. But the thought of me having to face A levels no matter how I look at it, gives me the motivation to hang in there and get it over and done with. Seriously, I regret looking forward to coming to JC. Haha, the previous times in secondary school, I can't believe I actually wished for JC life to come ASAP. I'm trying to absorb the fact that I was so naive last time. Oh well, guessed JC life has changed me. Recently, I really feel like I have changed, not really sure in which aspect but I definitely took a step away from myself and became someone different. Hopefully, it doesn't become too drastic. Heh.
Well, Monday there is an upcoming Econs mock exam and I haven't studied. Screwed. I'm miraculously hoping that I am able to finish the entire H1 Econs syllabus by tomorrow night. Haha. Talking about that, Vettel got Pole again! HAH. I'M SO PROUD OF HIM! Really wish I could fly to Japan now to support him but I really lack the funds. I am actually planning to save up and but a grandstand ticket to watch him next year. And my parents called me nuts but it's a once in a life time chance for me to see him stand at the the podium, LIVE!!! I really hope he wins tomorrow and he will be 3 time world champion! GAH.
Okay, gonna end it here.
In this one month, I'm gonna prove to myself:
The sky is my limit.
I don't really know where to start but let's start with the basics first? Today was kinda exciting, given that my brother actually experienced a flat tyre while he was driving today and believe me when I say the hole was big. Haha. He is probably going to remember this day for life. Okay, I think I have kinda warmed up and my thoughts are finally flowing to me. :D
Anyway, A's are just round the corner and honestly I don't feel prepared. Then again, who does? My sis just ended PSLE and like her, I really do have the urge to party too. :'( But I really have to focus and get my stuff together. There have been countless times when I wished I was back in Secondary school where things weren't as stressful as they are now. Sighpie. But the thought of me having to face A levels no matter how I look at it, gives me the motivation to hang in there and get it over and done with. Seriously, I regret looking forward to coming to JC. Haha, the previous times in secondary school, I can't believe I actually wished for JC life to come ASAP. I'm trying to absorb the fact that I was so naive last time. Oh well, guessed JC life has changed me. Recently, I really feel like I have changed, not really sure in which aspect but I definitely took a step away from myself and became someone different. Hopefully, it doesn't become too drastic. Heh.
Well, Monday there is an upcoming Econs mock exam and I haven't studied. Screwed. I'm miraculously hoping that I am able to finish the entire H1 Econs syllabus by tomorrow night. Haha. Talking about that, Vettel got Pole again! HAH. I'M SO PROUD OF HIM! Really wish I could fly to Japan now to support him but I really lack the funds. I am actually planning to save up and but a grandstand ticket to watch him next year. And my parents called me nuts but it's a once in a life time chance for me to see him stand at the the podium, LIVE!!! I really hope he wins tomorrow and he will be 3 time world champion! GAH.
Okay, gonna end it here.
In this one month, I'm gonna prove to myself:
The sky is my limit.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
"Angel" - Sarah McLachlan
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
"Angel" - Sarah McLachlan
Monday, November 28, 2011
It really has been a very long while since I posted in this blog of mine. :) Really thinking back now, this blog has been with me since 2006? or longer? Hahaha. I think every year before it ends I always say that this started from a group of friends wanting to share a blog, thinking it's the new "facebook" kind of thing. In 2006, there wasn't any facebook, so blogging was like the "in" thing? A few years down the road, the group of friends broke but didn't lose contact, just weren't as close as before, and facebook came up. Heh. Guess I'm old fashioned eh? Never ever got used to facebook and never will. I think good old blogger here will be the closest I get to sharing my personal life on the net. :)
I actually wanted to post 365 things that brought me much joy, happiness and other emotions for 2011 but I never did got round to it. Haha. So I made a resolution of trying to post 1 happy thing per day for 2012! (Not happening, I know myself best.) Anyway, hard to believe that I have just survived a year in JC! This year has definitely had its ups and downs but it really taught me a lot I guess?
Only recently did I realise that I was clinging so tightly to the present that I did not want to change. Held so tightly to my friends which I did not want to let go and that made me distant to others. Before I knew it, I had this facade of being someone who just smiles and agrees and just close up. I kept searching for that same bonds which I treasured in Secondary school and of course things didn't work out. Surprising how it took me until now to realise that people are different and letting go of the past does make a difference. That is where my weakness is when it comes to new surroundings I guess.
It's nice to be able to meet up with close friends again throughout the year though I did lose some. You know its those that were really easy to approach, easy to confide in, easy to trust which are able to severe all ties and turn the other way. Its one thing if you want to keep secrets but its another if you lie persistently and proclaim what's really happening on facebook. It sucks to read the truth online than to hear it from you. But you'll never know this cause you will never read this and sometimes I wonder how much of the stuff you shared with me were truths and how much were just false hope to lead me into believing there was a non existent bond between me and you.
I should be kinda happy to have a blog, since not many people use it anymore and only really close friends read this blog of mine. I can happily say that this is the only website where I get to enjoy privacy on the net. :) This has got to be the longest post I have ever posted so far. Haha. In a long while. I don't really know what to type anymore. So I shall end with this.
To those who still read my blog and those whom I know checks my blog,
thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) It's really nice to know that you are reading and check my blog to remind me that I haven't posted or that my blog is dead. Haha. We do meet up regularly but not frequent enough. Haha. Just to let you know,
I miss you a lot and love you even more. :)
I actually wanted to post 365 things that brought me much joy, happiness and other emotions for 2011 but I never did got round to it. Haha. So I made a resolution of trying to post 1 happy thing per day for 2012! (Not happening, I know myself best.) Anyway, hard to believe that I have just survived a year in JC! This year has definitely had its ups and downs but it really taught me a lot I guess?
Only recently did I realise that I was clinging so tightly to the present that I did not want to change. Held so tightly to my friends which I did not want to let go and that made me distant to others. Before I knew it, I had this facade of being someone who just smiles and agrees and just close up. I kept searching for that same bonds which I treasured in Secondary school and of course things didn't work out. Surprising how it took me until now to realise that people are different and letting go of the past does make a difference. That is where my weakness is when it comes to new surroundings I guess.
It's nice to be able to meet up with close friends again throughout the year though I did lose some. You know its those that were really easy to approach, easy to confide in, easy to trust which are able to severe all ties and turn the other way. Its one thing if you want to keep secrets but its another if you lie persistently and proclaim what's really happening on facebook. It sucks to read the truth online than to hear it from you. But you'll never know this cause you will never read this and sometimes I wonder how much of the stuff you shared with me were truths and how much were just false hope to lead me into believing there was a non existent bond between me and you.
I should be kinda happy to have a blog, since not many people use it anymore and only really close friends read this blog of mine. I can happily say that this is the only website where I get to enjoy privacy on the net. :) This has got to be the longest post I have ever posted so far. Haha. In a long while. I don't really know what to type anymore. So I shall end with this.
To those who still read my blog and those whom I know checks my blog,
thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) It's really nice to know that you are reading and check my blog to remind me that I haven't posted or that my blog is dead. Haha. We do meet up regularly but not frequent enough. Haha. Just to let you know,
I miss you a lot and love you even more. :)
Monday, October 17, 2011
Been a long while since I last posted. :/
My days have been packed to the brim. With pw and chinese round the corner, I've been sleeping at like 11.30, midnight even on some nights. As a result, I'm down with cold and cough. It always happens to me when I have insufficient sleep or am too stressed. Haha. I think this side of me is a very bad thing. The previous nights I haven't been sleeping well too. Dreaming about weird stuff. Most of the time being school work though. I have never dreamt so much of school in my entire life. Maybe its a sign to show me how stress I actually am.
Tonight is one of the nights again where I am cramming pw. Though I have another girl working with me and I am glad for it, sometimes it's hard to communicate cause half the time I don't really understand what it is she wants nor what exactly she plans to do. Coming so close to the dealine she wants to export everything into a pdf which i think may not be a good idea but oh well, we'll see. I just pray we can make it to the deadline.
Another 40 mins time...
My days have been packed to the brim. With pw and chinese round the corner, I've been sleeping at like 11.30, midnight even on some nights. As a result, I'm down with cold and cough. It always happens to me when I have insufficient sleep or am too stressed. Haha. I think this side of me is a very bad thing. The previous nights I haven't been sleeping well too. Dreaming about weird stuff. Most of the time being school work though. I have never dreamt so much of school in my entire life. Maybe its a sign to show me how stress I actually am.
Tonight is one of the nights again where I am cramming pw. Though I have another girl working with me and I am glad for it, sometimes it's hard to communicate cause half the time I don't really understand what it is she wants nor what exactly she plans to do. Coming so close to the dealine she wants to export everything into a pdf which i think may not be a good idea but oh well, we'll see. I just pray we can make it to the deadline.
Another 40 mins time...
Friday, September 16, 2011
SCANDAL <3
Hahaha. Scandal is officially my first favourite jap band which I'm hooked and crazy over in just two days after buying their new album!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!! And what sucks is that they are holding a concert live either tonight or tomorrow night!!!!!! Why did I wait so long to buy their album!!!!! Gah! If there was some big sign with neon lights flashing to tell me that they are coming for a concert, I'll buy them to go!!!!!!!! Sigh.
Anyway, quite cool, I'm posting this using the new blogger app. Much more convenient!!!! Hahaha.
Anyway, quite cool, I'm posting this using the new blogger app. Much more convenient!!!! Hahaha.
Monday, August 29, 2011
If you can hear me, I'm not perfect
I'm not always working hard, always following what you say, always trying to be who you want me to be.
When can i start to be who i want myself to be?
I am trying my best to encourage, cheer up, listening.
That's the thing i am always the listener.
I do have my problems as well. So what? I get to listen to you and should always be the one listening?
Fuck this.
I'm not always working hard, always following what you say, always trying to be who you want me to be.
When can i start to be who i want myself to be?
I am trying my best to encourage, cheer up, listening.
That's the thing i am always the listener.
I do have my problems as well. So what? I get to listen to you and should always be the one listening?
Fuck this.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Been a long while since I posted a proper post! :D Guess JC life was busier than I expected it to be.
Well, a lot of time has passed since I took off my blue and white uniform. And, a lot of things have happened since then. I guess it's right to say that time heals everything. Everything heals it is just a matter of how long. I am starting to feel okay in school(?)
Unsure about that point because somedays I feel that everything is how its meant to be and next, everything just goes down hill. Classic example was yesterday and how my Chem teacher pissed me off AGAIN. What was I expecting when I chose to become the chem rep? Definitely not the kind of crap treatment I get. Its one thing to deal with the chem teacher, another to deal with a useless bunch of childish, ignorant, imbeciles.
Today was SL day. Went house cleaning at tp. Really miss that area. Met at the interchange and I am surrounded by girls in blue and white uniforms. It was nostalgic. To think that we are here now, far apart and hardly seeing each other. Well, its officially another week before I say goodbye to 2 people who are very close to my heart. I am really dreading next week. I do not want it to come. At. All.
It's painful enough to say goodbye to one, let alone two. It's fast. Too fast. This is my first time thinking, why is life THAT unfair? We planned to go to this JC togehter, we planned to go on trips after we graduated, we planned to party like crap when A's ended. That was the problem. Planned. You can't really plan much in life cause life itself is unexpected and this is the time where I wish I could stop time. But I guess, that isn't happening.
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
When all that you touch tumbles down
Well, a lot of time has passed since I took off my blue and white uniform. And, a lot of things have happened since then. I guess it's right to say that time heals everything. Everything heals it is just a matter of how long. I am starting to feel okay in school(?)
Unsure about that point because somedays I feel that everything is how its meant to be and next, everything just goes down hill. Classic example was yesterday and how my Chem teacher pissed me off AGAIN. What was I expecting when I chose to become the chem rep? Definitely not the kind of crap treatment I get. Its one thing to deal with the chem teacher, another to deal with a useless bunch of childish, ignorant, imbeciles.
Today was SL day. Went house cleaning at tp. Really miss that area. Met at the interchange and I am surrounded by girls in blue and white uniforms. It was nostalgic. To think that we are here now, far apart and hardly seeing each other. Well, its officially another week before I say goodbye to 2 people who are very close to my heart. I am really dreading next week. I do not want it to come. At. All.
It's painful enough to say goodbye to one, let alone two. It's fast. Too fast. This is my first time thinking, why is life THAT unfair? We planned to go to this JC togehter, we planned to go on trips after we graduated, we planned to party like crap when A's ended. That was the problem. Planned. You can't really plan much in life cause life itself is unexpected and this is the time where I wish I could stop time. But I guess, that isn't happening.
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
When all that you touch tumbles down
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)