It was a first for me to be called a 'freaking liar' by one of my close friends and though I may be convincing myself that she meant it in the joking manner, it still hurts. Technically, what I said wasn't a lie. I mean, come on, how is 'jia you~~ It's the last lap!' a lie? Unless you are in denial, thinking that A levels are not coming up. Recently, I've been feeling like you treat me like crap and truthfully speaking I'm tired. Tired of your endless complaints like you are the only one in the world who is suffering from not doing well from prelims. Seriously, there are others who are not in great shape either so instead of moping around, why not brush yourself up and fight the last part with whatever you got? I tried to tell you, encourage you to not give up but you simply give up. Sure, I see you putting in the effort to brush up but to forsake one subject as well? Telling me that you need someone to force you and you have no idea where to start, I gave you a starting point but you simply brush it off with a sigh. Why not you tell me what to do next? Help you? I think you need to recognise that you have to help yourself first before others can help you.

I gave you whatever help I could but you wouldn't even open the book to practice. What do you expect me to do next? Whenever I gave you encouragement or try to change your pessimistic views, all I get is a 'You rubbish' or 'stop it kay'. So I'm back to square one. What in the world do you want me to tell you? Go ahead, fail. Yeah, you are so screwed. You can go screw physics as well. Heck, just drop out. Seriously, do I look like that kind of person who will heartlessly say those words to you? You have no idea how much I want to help you pass and do well but the way you are treating me just isn't it. Everytime you will get me to follow your ways no matter what I feel about it. I try and tell you what I really want to tell you but you make it hard. If it's not what you want to hear, oh yeah, sure, ignore me and throw a tantrum whenever you want and keep looking at your phone too. It'll help. I'm tired of being a 'replacement' to you where you come to me because I'll follow whatever you suggest. That makes me feel like a freaking pushover and that I can't speak up for myself. Everytime I try, I keep telling myself next time it'll be different or this is just temporary but I'm running out of next time's. I reall have no idea what my next step is or what to tell you next.

If you think that the whole world is turning against you, let me say this first, it was you who turned against the world. I give up. Your stubborn, impulsive mannerism has finally broke my last thread of patience and I'm gonna leave it as it is. I'm not going to be the one who says sorry. Not this time.