It really has been a very long while since I posted in this blog of mine. :) Really thinking back now, this blog has been with me since 2006? or longer? Hahaha. I think every year before it ends I always say that this started from a group of friends wanting to share a blog, thinking it's the new "facebook" kind of thing. In 2006, there wasn't any facebook, so blogging was like the "in" thing? A few years down the road, the group of friends broke but didn't lose contact, just weren't as close as before, and facebook came up. Heh. Guess I'm old fashioned eh? Never ever got used to facebook and never will. I think good old blogger here will be the closest I get to sharing my personal life on the net. :)

I actually wanted to post 365 things that brought me much joy, happiness and other emotions for 2011 but I never did got round to it. Haha. So I made a resolution of trying to post 1 happy thing per day for 2012! (Not happening, I know myself best.) Anyway, hard to believe that I have just survived  a year in JC! This year has definitely had its ups and downs but it really taught me a lot I guess?

Only recently did I realise that I was clinging so tightly to the present that I did not want to change. Held so tightly to my friends which I did not want to let go and that made me distant to others. Before I knew it, I had this facade of being someone who just smiles and agrees and just close up. I kept searching for that same bonds which I treasured in Secondary school and of course things didn't work out. Surprising how it took me until now to realise that people are different and letting go of the past does make a difference. That is where my weakness is when it comes to new surroundings I guess.

It's nice to be able to meet up with close friends again throughout the year though I did lose some. You know its those that were really easy  to approach, easy to confide in, easy to trust which are able to severe all ties and turn the other way. Its one thing if you want to keep secrets but its another if you lie persistently and proclaim what's really happening on facebook. It sucks to read the truth online than to hear it from you. But you'll never know this cause you will never read this and sometimes I wonder how much of the stuff you shared with me were truths and how much were just false hope to lead me into believing there was a non existent bond between me and you.

I should be kinda happy to have a blog, since not many people use it anymore and only really close friends read this blog of mine. I can happily say that this is the only website where I get to enjoy privacy on the net. :) This has got to be the longest post I have ever posted so far. Haha. In a long while. I don't really know what to type anymore. So I shall end with this.

To those who still read my blog and those whom I know checks my blog,
thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) It's really nice to know that you are reading and check my blog to remind me that I haven't posted or that my blog is dead. Haha. We do meet up regularly but not frequent enough. Haha. Just to let you know,

I miss you a lot and love you even more. :)

Been a long while since I last posted. :/
My days have been packed to the brim. With pw and chinese round the corner, I've been sleeping at like 11.30, midnight even on some nights. As a result, I'm down with cold and cough. It always happens to me when I have insufficient sleep or am too stressed. Haha. I think this side of me is a very bad thing. The previous nights I haven't been sleeping well too. Dreaming about weird stuff. Most of the time being school work though. I have never dreamt so much of school in my entire life. Maybe its a sign to show me how stress I actually am.

Tonight is one of the nights again where I am cramming pw. Though I have another girl working with me and I am glad for it, sometimes it's hard to communicate cause half the time I don't really understand what it is she wants nor what exactly she plans to do. Coming so close to the dealine she wants to export everything into a pdf which i think may not be a good idea but oh well, we'll see. I just pray we can make it to the deadline.

Another 40 mins time...

SCANDAL <3

Hahaha. Scandal is officially my first favourite jap band which I'm hooked and crazy over in just two days after buying their new album!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!! And what sucks is that they are holding a concert live either tonight or tomorrow night!!!!!! Why did I wait so long to buy their album!!!!! Gah! If there was some big sign with neon lights flashing to tell me that they are coming for a concert, I'll buy them to go!!!!!!!! Sigh.

Anyway, quite cool, I'm posting this using the new blogger app. Much more convenient!!!! Hahaha.

If you can hear me, I'm not perfect
I'm not always working hard, always following what you say, always trying to be who you want me to be.
When can i start to be who i want myself to be?
I am trying my best to encourage, cheer up, listening.
That's the thing i am always the listener.
I do have my problems as well. So what? I get to listen to you and should always be the one listening?
Fuck this.

Been a long while since I posted a proper post! :D Guess JC life was busier than I expected it to be.

Well, a lot of time has passed since I took off my blue and white uniform. And, a lot of things have happened since then. I guess it's right to say that time heals everything. Everything heals it is just a matter of how long. I am starting to feel okay in school(?)

Unsure about that point because somedays I feel that everything is how its meant to be and next, everything just goes down hill. Classic example was yesterday and how my Chem teacher pissed me off AGAIN. What was I expecting when I chose to become the chem rep? Definitely not the kind of crap treatment I get. Its one thing to deal with the chem teacher, another to deal with a useless bunch of childish, ignorant, imbeciles.

Today was SL day. Went house cleaning at tp. Really miss that area. Met at the interchange and I am surrounded by girls in blue and white uniforms. It was nostalgic. To think that we are here now, far apart and hardly seeing each other. Well, its officially another week before I say goodbye to 2 people who are very close to my heart. I am really dreading next week. I do not want it to come. At. All.

It's painful enough to say goodbye to one, let alone two. It's fast. Too fast. This is my first time thinking, why is life THAT unfair? We planned to go to this JC togehter, we planned to go on trips after we graduated, we planned to party like crap when A's ended. That was the problem. Planned. You can't really plan much in life cause life itself is unexpected and this is the time where I wish I could stop time. But I guess, that isn't happening.

What can you do when your good isn't good enough
When all that you touch tumbles down

Physics. Screw you.
Really not meant to do physics.

Freaking attitude problem.
What the fuck is wrong with you?

Its the last week of hols!!!!!!! Time sure flies by... It feels like it's the second week only especially sInce I was away for the first two weeks. Hahaha. Well, sad thing is that I've finally caught up with the latest epi of naruto!!!!!! Which means that I have to wait for a week before the next episode comes out!!!! Gahhhhhh.... I lack the patience for it. Especially since exams are coming up, I don't think I can watch every week though it sounds tempting!!!!! And I found a new anime!!!!! Hahahahaha. I am so killing myself for CTs.

Anyway, I've been finding the motivation to study cause since O's ended, I really had no idea what to study for next. During Sec 3 and 4, I motivated myself by telling myself that I will study hard to make my grandmother proud and not regret doing badly like in PSLE. that made me study damn hard. But after that, I'm asking myself, what's next? Yesterday, I finally got it. Haha. I'm gonna study hard and make it into a local Uni for both my brother's sake and mine. Since he can't get onto a local Uni, I'll do it for him. Then my sis can seek for help in either Uni she goes to, private or local. Haha. Kinda pathetic right? But it makes sense to me. So I'm gonna slam the A's with this dream of mine of attending a local uni, doing what I love cause I made it there with my hard work. :D

It really has been a while since i posted here. More than a month. Hahaha.
Well, a lot of things have been happening. Some good and some bad. Somehow this is like Sec 1 all over again. Where you notice that people aren't really the same as you thought they would be. I guess I have sort of changed? I can't tell. Who am I to judge myself?

I feel sad I guess. Can't think of any other ways to get my point across. Sometimes I think, are you really the same person I met years ago? Are you still the same kind, cheerful person I knew? Frankly, I have no idea what you are thinking now.

And soon, I've to say goodbye to someone really really special. Who knew we would meet 2 years later after we parted? Who knew you would mean so much to me now? You really brought a smile to my face. I really want you to know that and believe that it is true. But, hey, we got our phones right? That's what I'm trying to convince myself. I think the more I think about it, I may just cry while typing this.

Really wanted to type a long post but this day has really brought me surprises. Hah. If I had a limit to surprises. This is it, it is no wonder I've been having a deep gut feeling that today won't be as great as I thought it would be.

Now, it feels like I'm watching a movie of other people's lives and I'm a calefare here and there, not knowing what to do, what to say. Then again, I'm just feeling this at this moment. Well, I hope tmr (today since it is past midnight) will be better.


The ghost of you is all that I have left,
is all that I have left of you.

First and last time I'm ever gonna work with guys.
Seriously.

I shared something quite personal with someone I least expect I would. I guess things have really changed since I first started JC. Found out what people were really like. Both good and bad.

Anyway, I was sharing my not so sweet past with someone. And it really brought back memories. Haha. I was suddenly thinking about a very dear childhood friend of mine and come to think of it. I have never ever told anyone about this before. Haha, guess it's time for me to say it out, or type it out in this case.

So, as some may know I have a park near my house. When I was about 7 I used to go there with my bro and met some really nice people. :D One of them was him. :D He was really nice and caring. Haha, I remember I used to follow my brother and play with them. But I guess school took over and soon it was just me and the group shrank to just me, him and a few others. Sometimes, but rarely, it'll just be me and him. Haha. I remember walking to his house for the first time, seeing his grandmother and all. I was freaking nervous. It was my 2nd time going to a friend's house without permission too. Haha. After that about a year later, when pokemon was in season. Haha. I brought the whole box of pokemon cards to show the gang. Well, it really wasn't a great idea as everyone just poured everything out and scrambled through it. Leaving me to pack up and the thing was the cards were my brother's. xD So, I was pissed off, dumping everything inside but my dear friend came home with me and sat on the floor to help me pack!! So sweet right? Hahaha. Maybe that's why I remember till now. I remember him telling me some personal stuff that I still remember to date. Haha. But after PSLE, we somehow lost contact. I never did see him again and now when I think about it, it is kinda sad.

I don't even knnow what I'm doing now, typing this out. Haha. Anyway, even though the chances of you reading this is very slim or the slight chance of you remembering my name and actually ever finding this blog of mine and go 'HEY! I KNOW THIS GIRL!' is close to 0, I still am carrying that hope that we can meet again and catch up. Though I vaguely remember your address, you are probably not even there anymore. But I think it'll be quite cool to meet a childhood friend. Haha.

Well, another reason why I'm typing this out is to remind myself that I used to have a great friend when I was young if I ever do forget. Hahaha. Come to think of it, this blog really holds tons of my memories. :D

I guess to sum it all up, I learnt that some friends, no matter how much you desire for them to understand you or be by your side, will have to be let go. So that's what I'm going to do now. I'm letting you go.

Easter. Somehow, this easter weekend will be something that I will remember for the rest of my life.

It starts with thurs I guess. Let's just say I managed to talk with someone close to me after a very long time. At the beginning, I didn't expect things to turn out like this. In fact, I didn't know. But it's fate I guess. If its God's will then let it be. If its not meant for me, then it is not. I shared stuff with her I didn't expect to tell her. I really hope things will go back to the same.

Friday. Good friday. For the first time in my 17 years, I attended my first Good Friday mass. :D It was heartwarming to attend it with a close friend. It was meaningful and I guess my faith took me to a deeper understanding. After that we went to crash the house of a very very dear friend of mine. :D I miss her alot. Then again, I miss my close friends a lot.

Today, I'm gonna end of with the lyrics to a song that touched my heart. It became an inspiration for me to never give up.

Why?- Nicole Nordeman
We rode into town the other day, just me and my Daddy.
He said I’d finally reached that age, and I could ride next to him on a horse that of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting and so we stopped to find out why
There was that man that my dad said he loved, but today there was fear in his eyes
So I said Daddy why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I bet that crown hurts him more than he shows
Daddy please can’t you do something?
He looks as if he’s going to cry
You said he is stronger than all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why, why does everyone want him to die?
Later that day the sky grew cloudy and daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy, boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering if there was something that he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out, I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds to a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from a cross:
And it said : Father why are they screaming.
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes??
This crown of thorns hurts me more than it shows
Father please can’t you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry
I thought I could handle a cross of this size,
Father remind me why, why does everyone want me to die.
When will I understand why?
My precious Son, I hear them screaming.
I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming but soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.
Jesus this hurts me much more than you know
But this dark hour I must do nothing.
I’ve heard your unbearable cry—
the power in your blood destroys all the lies,
soon you’ll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look there below see the child trembling by her father’s side.
Now I can tell you why, she is why you must die.

Tomorrow is it.
Should I feel happpy or sad?
wakaranai deshou.

Been a while. :D Anyway, yesterday I finally uploaded my pics from my camera into the com!!! So today shall be a post dedicated to pics. In fact I owe the pics to a little someone. Hahaa. Hope she sees it. :D

What are words
If you don't really mean them
when you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, they never go away
They live on
Even when we're gone

Tomorrow is week 3!!!! That's kinda fast actually though last week was really really draining... But I'm looking forward to this week :) I pray really hard that it will go well. I mean I rather be optimistic and bear with it rather than complaning and regretting a choice I made. Anyway this weekend was great!!! No more MSA!!!!!! :DD On sat I went back to school!!! Sighh I really do miss IJ. Walking through the gates no longer being part of a GREAT family. The canteen though it looked familiar, it still felt so far away. I was so tempted to go back to my old classroom, sit at my old seat that was no longer mine. Picture the back row all laughing and drawing retarded maps... I MISS IT ALL. Then before leaving, I bump into Clare and Regina!!!! I really miss them!!!! Clare came and gave me a hug and I really miss that. JC is really hard to receive hugs from people. Mostly cause they don't know me... But it's still kinda sad. I miss her alot!!!! When I said I will tell her when she can come over, she told me after A's. Haha. Well, June hols are coming!!! I really hope we can meet up then :D

PW. FREAK YOU.
PHYSICS, WTF.

How I wish that day in the ice cream shop would remain.
How I wish I could continue talking with you there listening.
How I wish tomorrow would never come.
That was the last hug I'll ever give you in a long time.
How ironic to be living in the same area in the same country yet we hardly see each other.
I wish I could cheer you up like I usually do.
Yup, that's the thing. Its "I wish."

Tomorrow is the last day of the hols and the whole cycle is going to repeat itself.
Days of me coming home crying. Days I come home smiling. Days reminiscing about the past.

Okay, this is plain depressing. I'm gonna give it a shot and try to like school.

Que Sera Sera

March hols are here again!!! So fast! This coming Monday is going to be a special day for me. In fact its the date that counts not the day. Exactly 3 years ago if you asked me what's so special about March 14th, I'll probably say nothing. Yet who knew the following year it would become like this? I'm not gonna say everything again, you can just check the post I posted on that date. Everything wasn't the same again.

It's been 2 years since I saw her smile. 2 years since I hugged her. 2 years since I laid on the bed next to her complaining about my day or just stoning next to her. I miss her. Though its been 2 years, I really miss her now. I miss her telling me in her unspoken yet tender ways of telling me that everything is going to be okay. I miss having her at her usual place where I can just pour everything out to her. Now, she's a fleeting memory to some. All I have left are her teachings and memories of her as far as I can remember. Distance sure does make the heart grow fonder but wherever she went, she isn't coming back. That is the irrevocable truth. One that I have psyched myself into believing after a week since she left.

Now as I think back, what really got me through the O's, to get me on to study was actually her. Somehow, that day after March hols I started studying even more. Telling myself that I am going to make her proud. I don't care if I had troubles or was struggling through Physics. What really got me my grades was the thought of me making her proud or actually knowing that if she was still here, she would be proud of me.

That brings me back to this term. Though school has been tough. With the fitting in and all. Today somehow brought me back to 2 years ago. The drive to do well and making her even more proud of me. Lately I've been feeling depressed thinking I'm kinda annoying towards my friends. Feeling envy for others and demoralising myself. But I think its just me thinking too much. Who cares if others fit in better than me? If I have to take twice as long then so be it. If others take a lesson to understand a concept and I take a week, so what? What matters is my effort in making sure I understand and can get to where I am aiming for. Who cares if my school A level grades weren't good? I wil make sure I end up in the percentage where I get my A's. All I know is that she is watching over me and I'm sure she wants me to do well and I am not letting her down. Not one bit.

Term 2 is gonna be a brand new start. I will continue to smile and be who I am; happy and cheerful, regardless of the obsticles that are coming up. :D

I used to have dreams about her, but it stopped one day. If I do ever dream about her again, I hope I'll be able to tell her these words.
"Ah mah, thank you for everything."

I'm loving bishan park!!! They freaking have wifi here!!!! Haha. I think this is being damn random but in any case... This week has been much better I guess. :)
It kinda sucks being all sad and gloomy. Guess it's not my cup of tea. There was honours day yesterday... Pity I had piano lessons then if not I'd gladly crash the ceremony. >.< I really miss IJ now... Then again I've been missing it since JC life started...
Next week is not going to be nice. Firstly, I've tons of tests coming up and they are the subs I suck at... Urgh. GP is going to be on globalization and I freaking can't find my SS textbook!!! So screwed for the test and it is counted for my promo exams!!! Sigh. I pray I pass...

It has been a long week. To tell you straight out, I am sad.
In fact, sad doesn't even come close to what I've been feeling since yesterday during Chinese.

You can name me whatever negative feeling that can be found in the dictionary and I can tell you, I'm feeling 100% of everything you have just named. Depressed? Check. Upset? Check. Lonely? Check. Stressed? Check. Agitated? Check. Seriously, this part of my life really sucks to the core. Don't ask me why. I'll tell you if I want to. This is where I feel like its a total repeat of Sec 1 life again.

Now, I'm starting to regret being in s01. Who knows maybe I should have either dropped physics or take 4H2. Maybe the environment would be better? Maybe the people would be nicer? Yeah. Thats the problem. Maybe.

I've never felt like my life has been so screwed up before to the point where I feel like crying every single day I come home. It's taking a toll on me and I don't think I can keep this up much longer. This is really me begging for the first time for God to be there to just help me. Any way possible, by any means. I just want Him to guide me and tell me "Don't worry Steph, everything will be okay."
I just want to hear those words so badly.

I MIA from blogger and fb too much these days. Well, I can't help it since half the time or actually 3/4 of the time I am in school. Sigh. You know ever since school started, I've been sighing a lot and feeling really tired almost everyday! Haha. One reason being I don't really know my class that well so half the time is spent thinking of questions to socialise and stuff. Hahah. I think if Wan Ying wasn't in my class I would be complaining much MUCH more. Haha.

And guess what? Tomorrow is V day~~~~ Dunno if I should be happy or sad... It's Rosh's birthday too and I feel damn bad for not being able to celebrate it yesterday!!! >.< At least I manage to catch them at the end though I wasn't able to talk to des, mari and nat tong...

Anyway, lessons have started too... ARGH!!!! The subs I can't understand.
Chem.
Physics.
Math.
The best thing about it is that they are all H2s. Hahaha. Oh well, I'm going to put in extra extra effort for all of that and my H1s. Talking about H1s, how can i forget? Chinese. Urgh. I don't even want to start on it. Haha. So this sums up my life in JC so far. Pretty suckish.

Been a while hasn't it?

Even though it was only 2 days ago that school started, it still feels like many things happened.

Words are stuck in my throat as I try to describe the past 2 days. It was enriching and fun. Then again, there are times where I can't help but feel lonely, knowing that my friends are all somewhere else. Carrying on their life. I feel like I'm the only one looking back at the past. Telling myself, it used to be like this or last month was the time I really had fun. I've got to admit it. It's tiring. I'm tired, trying to mix in all the time. Thinking of topics to know the rest better. Everytime I think I'm closer to them and is gradually understanding them, the talk about secondary school friends brings me back to reality. They have friends who are even closer to them and are in the same group. So I'll never understand them at the same level as they do.

Thinking about what tomorrow is going to bring, I've decided to give it a shot. The past 2 days I've been making progress. Trying to leave my old self behind and become someone who is stronger and more outgoing. I'm willing to change myself and now's the time. I'm giving it my all.

As it says, no one is here by chance. That I believe.

My mum wanted me to try walking to SA and so I did. :D
I didn't want to go alone so i kinda dragged Cheryl with me. Haha.
Anyway, it was kinda weird cause I was going to a new school tomorrow. I have to get used to taking the Bishan mrt to serangoon and then change to potong pasir. Then I would have to walk all the way to the school. Truthfully, it's kinda ulu if you know what I mean. xD If I have to walk there alone it'll be kinda scary. I won't be surprised if I get kidnapped halfway and get robbed or something. Haha. But the walk was kinda short. My mum then wanted me to go in and ask when I could buy the uniform and all.... Sigh. I mean this is kinda of last min. Then again, I can't really complain right? Haha.

After that, went to Dover to try a bus route out back home. Well, let's say it was just long. Yup. Long. Then in front of us there were like 2 seats that had water leaking on. Haha. It was kinda funny when you see people sitting down on those seats and only 5 mins later to have water gushing (okay, not really gushing but dripping in many drops down on them.) I felt really bad for laughing. Okay, in fact I'm being pure mean here. Hahaha. So I shall apologise. :)

Just now, had to drop by shop and save to buy lettuce. Sigh, I really should consider having a third name. Haha, if my mum does ever find out. I am screwed for life. I can't even get to experince JC life if she finds out today. I probably have to spend it in hospital. Hahaha.

Today was kinda good in a way too that I managed to post out 5 letters. Saying the things I've been wanting to say in a long time. Trying to mend some stuff with others.

Well, I think one thing that really got to me was the posting on fb. I think this is one of the reasons why I hate going on fb. Whenever you post on someone's wall, it'll be emailed to you and yeah I get it that it can be irritating and all. But I think shut up does have its own way of hurting you somehow. Next time I want to converse with someone. I'm sticking to MSN.

Yesterday was rather sentimental. Thinking back to primary school, the joys and the sadness. Well, 4 years later, I can't remember much of my 6 years there. Probably the me being bullied and the me being scared on the first day are probably those that would stay there in my mind.

Then came secondary school. I think I've never stated it before on this site. So I shall do it now. I hated my Sec 1 life. Yup. It was probably one of the worst experiences in my life. As I look back on it now, I really was being pushed over that time. Thankfully, Sec 2 I made new friends and things became much enjoyable and bearable. After that, came the best 2 years of my life in IJ. :D Sure there were some bad experiences but overall, I had fun. I am really grateful that I made it into this class of mine. Met new people and learnt to change for the better.

And here I am now. One day left to catch up on the people I will miss. One day more before I am once thrown into a new environment and left to fit in. Though I know it won't be an easy ride fitting in to a new class to new people, I would try my best still. After experiencing a year or so of being in a new class with new people, I think I should be able to pull through. Afterall, I still have you guys right?

(This is getting rather sad. So I shall say my piece.)

To my closest bunch of friends; Averil, Cheryl, Desiree, Florence, Marianne, Roshini, Sheryl Ann, Natalie Tong and Shermain.

Thank you for being there for me. For some, thank you for being the backyard people! It was one of the best times that I actually had! To be able to bond as a row. That was a first for me. :D To all, thank you for sitting with me during recess and just talking nonsense. :) It was definitely one of the best times in my life. To my table partner, thank you for helping me through my studies. Especially explaining physics to me! I think since I'm taking H2 physics, I'll probably call you like once a week to ask for your help. xD Thank you to the 4 of you who came on every night to have an msn conference. :D And florence? Thanks for helping me make up my mind. :D Now last part to all of you. Thank you for the great outings we had. It was 120% of pure fun and laughter. Thanks for supporting me during the O's. :D Lastly, I hope you have fun in your different JC life, if times get hard just know I'll be there. I wish you guys all the best. Good luck for your A's next!!!!! Don't forget me, kay? I miss you all and love you guys very very much. >.< Secondary 3 and 4 life would not be fun if not for you guys. :D

At last, I'm at the last stage of the spring cleaning process! *Heaves a sigh of relief.* I think I lost at least 2kg of water through sweat doing all of the household chores. >.<

Wanna hear what I did? I learnt how to use the ancient vaccum cleaner present in the house today. It's the type where you have to plug in the switch and attach the head manually. Yup. As I said. Ancient... Anyway, on the first time, I freaked out. I went upstairs trying to fit the various parts in. Turns out i put the parts in the wrong order. Haha. So the whole thing could not fit into the system itself. Haha. In the end, I had to call my dad for help and eventually, he helped me get it right. >.< So I started vaccuming downstairs. Who knew I could actually perspire so much just vaccuming! Like my dad said "I have never sweat so much like you while vaccuming." Haha.

For the first few times I would flip evertime something went wrong. For example, the head of the vaccum cleaner falling off and when the machine makes funny noises. Haha. Guess I have a weak point in doing things like this. Haha. After that, took a break and I started watching a new korean drama; Yu-hee the witch. Its about this woman who has an awesome career and all but apparently she sucks at dating. Haha. So then, this guy comes in and somehow became her housekeeper as well as her love consultant. Yup yup. :D That's the storyline. So currently I'm 1/4 through. Haha. Trying to see if I can finish it before school starts.

Anyway, helped my sis with her eng homework too. Can you believe it? She's starting to learn about flashbacks for compo! Sure brings back memories when I first wrote a compo using flashbacks! It's one of my favourite way for starting a compo. Feeling a bit sad that I'll never again write a narrative essay for the rest of my life. Sigh, moving on to argumentative already. I am so not ready for all of the new subjects...

Well, feeling really tired now. I really hope my mum will lack me slack off for the rest of the day. Which is not much...

Oh for those who noticed, I deleted 2 of my posts because I felt guilty about bitching. And I was being unfair and one-sided. So I felt it had no right to be left there and so I erased them. :D

Right, got to wash my sis's school shoes now. Sigh, I think I should really consider changing my name to maria.

Now I had the time of my life.
oh, I've never felt like this before.
As I swear its the truth.
and I owe it all to you.

These words do ring through as this day passed by.
My brother finally had an afternoon off which was not filled with any plans.
This day was really spent bonding with him and my dear little sis. :D
I really hope that we can do it again.
After lunch, we decided to drop by thomson plaza to ask KFC if they could hold my sis's birthday party there. After that, drop by the ATM for my bro to deposit money. Then this lady came and asked us "wo zhe li you xian jing, neng bu neng yong zhe ge ba xian jing fang jin qu?"
Both of us were like "Xian jing?"
(We had no idea what xian jing was)
Then thankfully there was this woman infront of the queue that went Xian Jing shi Cash! I was like oh. Cash. Since when was xian jing cash? I thought it was qian??? Anyway, we somehow managed to get out of this mess with the kind lady in front helping the other one. Now this is one of the examples why I did not get a distinction for my oral.

Shortly after, we went home, waited for my lil sis to finish her chinese tuition before heading to scoopz for ice cream~~ It was hilarious. Because my grandfather has a bit of problem with walking long distances, so we decided to da bao ice cream for him. HAHA. YES. DA BAO!!!!! My brother was so funny. At the traffic light there, he went "I take over from here." I was like okay, then I passed him the small cup of ice cream. Then he CHIONG all the way back. My sis and I could hardly catch up. Halfway through, my sis decided to sprint to catch up. Unfortunately, I was wearing flip flops and me wearing flip flops and running DO NOT go together. So at most I could was brisk walk. Then my sis was shouting back, "Jie Jie, why you so slow??? Run lei!" I was thinking, I wouldn't mind running if I didn't have a high chance of falling head first and have to be admitted to hospital. She dare comment back, do you walk that slowly during NAPFA? I lost my temper here saying: "I run during NAPFA AND I'm going to knock your head when I reach home." And she was so adorable! When I reached home, she bow her head infront of me and went"You can knock now." HAHAHAHA.

For those who are curious, I did knock. My bro was like why so hard? My sis could say Not painful one. HAHAHA. That's what you get for a blockhead I guess. xD

Well, tomorrow and the rest of the week is gonna get busy~
Must prepare myself. :D
For pure fun~

Ever worked your ass off for one whole day?
Well, I experienced what it was like today. Really really tiring.

As you all know, Chinese New Year is round the corner. And with Chinese New Year comes Spring Cleaning...
My mum has a thing about being organised and stuff (you can't see it. The house literally shows uncouth youths living in the house, having a party every night.) I don't mean it seriously. In my family no one falls under the category of uncouth. xD
Anyway, she created a list on a post it about which part of the house to clean and who is assigned to clean what. Basically, its a duty roster.

So today was set aside to clean the kitchen. The kitchen drawers, the sink, the pots, pans and tables and all. Well, it was kinda fun in its own way. Sat down and cleared the stuff. It was killing two birds with one stone. On one hand we get to clean the place up and lessen the load for the following week and on the other, we bond as a family. :D

Let's say I saw many things today that I wish to forget. For example, tiny DEAD spiders under an unused blue chair. At least I did conquere my fear and gushed their corpses down with a hose. My sister was at the dinning room doing her artwork and every now and then I would pop by to help her. So kind right? He he. I love her a lot... She's so cute. Haha. Back to point. After that, she was doing her journal reflections for her school work. Guess who she wrote about? I feel so honoured to have me being the focal point of her short essay. But I can't say I feel that happy with it cause she wrote mainly how clumsy I was and how I CAN ALWAYS TRIP YET NOT FALL! And I do agree with her. I always do that yet I don't fall...

Before we know it, it was already 5:30. I decided to take a break after washing the mats and doors. Yeah, you saw right. DOORS. The doors were so cool! They could be taken out from the sliders. I had my Ipod playing in the kitchen so my sis and I were dancing in the kitchen to the songs. HAHA. It was the freestyle kind and we would improvise on the way. Quite cool eh? I think if I did it somewhere else I would be too embarrassed to start! >.< I learnt something new today. MY SIS CAN DANCE! I think in Secondary school I'm going to try asking her to join dance club. I think she would excel there. :D So proud of her.

Anyway, tomorrow is going to be the start of a week that I'll never forget with tons of gatherings and fun. Especially since next week will officially be the 2nd last week of holiday for me. Well, instead of sobbing around with what little time I have left, I think going out and have a blast would make it more worth it. xD

Found an interesting thing yesterday. I have no idea that this website actually tracks the other websites people visit to get my blog url. Quite cool actually. It's kind of nice to know that I'm not entirely mumbling to myself on this blog and that I do have readers. Thanks. :D

I noticed it's been a long time since I last posted a long post or a post of what I consider as a normal length. So today,I shall try. Let's see... start with what's been happening lately?

To sum it up.
- piano teacher is against me going to SA.
She wants me to go NY or A. o.O I really think she has a bad impression about SA. Well, I shall prove her wrong. :D

- went round cleaning the house like a mad woman today. Finally cleared my ancient cupboard. I can actually see the base!

That's about it? Oh which reminds me. I've yet to put up the pics from sentosa. Which was like a month ago. >.< Sorry peeps. I think you've to wait a tad bit longer. (Or until I find my cam.)

Turns out my post for today isn't that long. But I'm sure I'll have tons on the following days to come. :D

Learnt a new word today. Sappu
Not sure if that's the right spelling.

Anyway, submitted it. Finally.
After days of contemplating, long hours of msn chats (thanks guys!) and talks with parents. I finally decided.
Today. I ended my life in IJ.
I pray I make it through.
When JC starts, I'm off to a new environment, off to a new start.

Today came and flew past.

Happy.
It may not be great but who's complaining?
I tried my best, it's what I got.
I have no wish to go round gloating on fb or even tagging about it on fb.

Sure I do regret for some subjects being worse than others when I expected the other way round.

Happy.
It's what I'm feeling.
Not regret nor sadness.
Content is what I'm feeling.
That's all you have to know about today.
Nothing more,nothing less.

Its finally here.
When its here, i'm numb.
Nothing goes through my head.
The only thing I can do as I nervously enter the hall.
Is to tell myself.

Que Sera Sera.
Whatever will be, will be.

My dear friends.
Don't be nervous.
If you're meant to get it you will.
It may not be great.
But the best thing after that is knowing.
We Tried Our Best. :D

Well, I have no idea how to start this but just face it head on?
Today is definitely on my list of one of the best days in my entire 16 years of my life. :D

We (Cheryl and I) went to Averil's house today! First of all she lives quite far and I promised her last week we would be there by 9. (If we could she would treat us to lunch. xD) So anyway, I woke up at 7:05 and got ready to meet Cheryl at 7:55. One thing I can say to sum up how I felt at 7:05 this morning was: dead tired. Really wonder how I'm going to adjust when I start JC life. Well, Averil, I hand it to you for being able to drop by my place at 9:30 before O's. Really remarkable.

Anyway, when we reached there we seriously spent the whole day playing games. Like board games and stuff. Never did we once touch the com or television! I feel so accomplished!!!! I mean usually my idea of friends coming over would be hogging the tv and com so today was definitely a BIG change and an AWESOME one too I might add. The first game was UNO stacko. Well, as most of you know I was unsatisfied with how that game ended the last time and so I wanted to have my fair share of winning too!

So out came the blocks and out came my bad luck. If I were to have a say in this (which I do,) I totally blame my losing streak on my sitting place! HAHAHA. I mean COME ON! WHO THE HELL CAN LOSE 4 GAMES IN A ROW? IN A FREAKING ROW????? Ans: Stephanie. Sigh. I actually admitted it!!! Well somehow at the end we concluded it was cause Cheryl was there. xD But I'm not that mean... It's entirely the feng shui's fault! it wasn't good there! (Who am I kidding?) Sigh. Yeah okay. Moral of story? Steph CAN'T play UNO stacko.

After being fedup with the losing streak, I decided to swap place with Averil, :D So kind right? She actually swapped places with me. Anyway, we played monopoly DEAL! Best game! Hahaha. Tempted to buy it one day. Well, finally a monopoly game which I didn't lose, be heavily debted or downright poor. :D One reason would be it's actually impossible with the cards version but who cares? I didn't go bankrupt for once! Thank Goodness the losing streak stopped at UNO.

After that, we played cludo!!! That game really brings back memories. It is really a very interesting game. Requires brain cells!!! >.< By the way, its idiot proof. So don't need that many. Haven't had so much fun in a long time.

Next up, hah. Something I'm gonna remember in my entire life. We played pictionary! First time in my life I actually played that game. It was alright, just that I conclude I can't draw dustbins, diapers and french toast. I got to hand it to averil. Her drawings were actually guessable(if there was such a word) especially her lamp. :D I give her a star for her lamp. :) It was nicely drawn, Haha. Mine were just hopeless. Well, Cheryl's ones were... yeah. Not that bad. But some were undistinguishable. Like gold was portrayed as goldilocks which was portrayed at 3 bowls, bed and a stickman in pants with a x3 next to it? It was hilarious. Haha. But I have to compliment her for her effort. :D GOOD JOB BOTH OF YOU!

Wanna hear what stupid things I said?
Me: *drawing french toast. Got the toast stuck at french.*
(times up.)
Me: I wanted to draw the eiffle tower! But it's in Paris!
Cheryl and Averil: Which is in FRANCE!

Talk about a dumb blonde moment.

Back to the story. We played taboo next. (After lunch, Hehe. We do eat. BEST BEE HOON EVER!!! THE CHILLI WAS JUST AWESOME! two thumbs up to Averil's mum. :D)

It was interesting, enjoyable, hilarious and a sign that I need to improve my vocab. Some unpredictable blunders and discription.
I shall use short form here.

(Robot [word wanted])
C:Japan makes a lot of this.
I was thinking about sushi.
C: There was a movie starting I...
A: LOVE YOU!
I was laughing like crap here.
C:No! Will smith acted in it.
S:I am legend!!!
c:No!!! star wars...
A and S: o.O
C:I...I..
A: ROBOT!!!!!

(Curriculum)
C: First part sounds like curry.
A & S: Okay... curry.
C:next, colon! Put together?
A and S:currycolon?
Here I was thinking of colons cooked in curry....(trust me not a nice imagination)
C:Add an O inbetween?
A and S:curryocoloncurryocoloncurryocolon...
Oh! CURRICULUM!!!!!

Yup. One of the few moments of craziness. I conclude playing taboo while drinking Green tea sure drives you nuts. :D After playing about 500 over cards we gave up. Decided to chill out and talk. :D Babbled nonsense on my part. HAHAHA. Averil and I disturbed Cheryl most of the time though. Her and her 'piggy-chan~'

I was really reluctant to go but I had to come home right? If not my mum would really kill me(slaughter actually.) Eventually we left at 5:30. I really didn't want to leave. Well, good times got to end right? Haha. The train ride home was, fun? We bounced to Jurong East and back cause it was so packed we couldn't even put our toes in. Anyway, I was so tired that I was nodding away in the train. But it was 100% pure fun today. And I'm thankful for it. :D

So thank you Averil for having us over today and withstanding our nonsense. :D It was really really fun and we shall do it again! And to Cheryl, thank you for inviting me to come along and for waiting for me when I was late. >.< Really, thank you guys for today! Love you both very very much. :D

Yup. End with a famous quote. (Averil told me this. Us actually.)
Confucious say: Time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like banana.

My first post in the new year. This really brings back many memories from the time this blog was started which was about 5 years ago? Wow. It's long.

That day blogs were like the "in" thing and so my best friend and I decided to create one together. :D But you know the usual stuff happened with PSLE ahead and soon to Sec 1, with us going our different ways so somehow or another, this blog became mine...

Let's just say I got mixed feelings about it? I am definitely sad that we somehow lost contact of each other. As in we hardly ever talk nowadays. BUT (there is always a but when it comes to things like these.) I'm really glad this blog became mine because this blog has really bacome my pillar of support that is strong enough to handle my anger, sadness, frustrations. I think this blog can really be called my other self. :)

I only noticed it that I always come to my blog when I'm angry (mostly family problems). So. Every now or then you'll see that my post are short, precise with lots of cursing and swearing or sometimes just pure emo. Yup. My true self I should say which is sometimes hidden from my friends. :D

Point is. 5 whole years and on-going. I can actually imagine me 30 years down the road and still posting on this blog. Won't that be cool? I mean, you get to see me posting my life as a 12-year old then a 16 then me having my first boyfriend then me having my first holiday trip with my friends round the world then me seeing my bro get married then me getting married then my sis getting her turn then me being an aunt and who knows 30 years is a long time I could even be a mum by then!!!

(Okay, I'm gonna get old. thinking about these things is making me go urgh.)

Back to the point. This. blog. is. old. Hahaha. Well, I hope it gets older! One mistake of mine was not recording down the date this blog was created but I still remember how it was created! Sure gave us hell lots of problems. I think the blogskin wouldn't fit. The tagbox was floating somewhere in cyberspace between the website of origin and my blogsite. I would really like to thank Chloe was fixing it up for us that day. We sure gave her many problems but she did it anyway. Though we aren't on friends terms but I would really like to thank you. :)

Anyway, haven't really had the time to post pics on the sentosa trip on this blog. I shall do it soon. (soon....) When I feel like it. xD

Yesterday it was going on and on that facebook tops the list for the most frequent website in US. Sayling how 8.93% of the poeple visit facebook. Here I am thinking,that is not me. Haha. Those of you who know me, my facebook acc is rotting away in the cyberspace. If I could imagine it, my accounts on the various websites are placed in drawers and I have a special drawer that falls under unused. The file in there would definitely be my facebook acc. HAH. Covered with dusts and all. Since I'm on this topic, I really feel like logging into my facebook account and see what happened while I was away.

On a side note. I am irrevocably, definitely and absolutely ADDICTED to Glee. Yup. There I typed it. That series is one of the few American series that I actually watch and admit that I'm addicted to. Well, like all shows, some of the characters there are to be hated. Like Quinn being a total bitch and all. Can you believe it? I actually hate Rachel. More of can't stand her actually. (She falls under the type of people I hate.) Other than that? It's a series I would give a two thumbs up for. I'm desperately trying to finish Season 1 before 2 hits the screen on 25th jan. Sad thing is that 25th Jan is just 2 days before I start school. Urgh.

Well, I don't mind buying the 2nd season. If we ever drop by JB again. :D This has been one hell of a long post so I shall stop here. Wanna know what's been going on lately? I stopped watching naruto and pre-stopped maple (I really have the phobia of partying people now. But I am making sure that I actually do a ludi PQ once. Haven't done it in my entire 16 years.)