Freak this day. I knew it from the start. Instinct told me I should not set foot into the school compound today. But I ignored it. Such a smart move.

I forgot my form and I think I lost it. That started my panic one.

Next, Rachel didn't come. Surprise surprise. She was already sick on sunday. Why didn't she tell us? If she knew she was not coming telling us in the morning is not helpful. And since she told us at the last minute that she couldn't come who was going to present? Panic number two on the role.

That I can still take in. But the worst is what clare did. I mean at the level two there, I was panicking like shit and asking what to do, deciding who to present. I was thinking of nut and then clare came upstairs so I was like Clare come here. Help me to decide that kind of thing and she just looks at me like she's on the verge of crying and just left! SHE FREAKING LEFT ME THERE TO SETTLE EVERYTHING!

I went back to class with Shipei they all to get the script I thought maybe she had something to do that's why she left me. Then I called denise and nut to settle things. I thought Clare could help me with the script cause when I was online discussing with them on the script I wasn't there most of the time cause I was having dinner. She just ignored me. SHE FREAKING IGNORED ME! I was like WHAT THE FREAKING HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!

I talked to Lynette, found out that clare actually didn't want things to be pushed to her. I was like okay that I understand. But I was bloody panicking and thinking of substitutes and ways to deal with it. I needed her help with the script. Fine with me if she doesn't want to do it. Fine by me if she doesn't want to say it. But the very fact that she chose to ignore me pisses me off. I mean I was outside. FREAKING STANDING OUTSIDE, PANICKING. and what does she do? Just ignore me. OH I'M SO FINE WITH THAT.

If she just says that she's not doing it. Okay so it'll be. She won't do it. I will gladly do it if she just freaking tell me what to say!!! I was hardly there when they discussed it.

After that she freaking acts as if nothing happened. Oh it's over. And I was expecting an apology or something. I mean come on!!! Even though Denise or nut didn't want to do it they were helping me think of a freaking solution!

And lynette was like her messenger. Clare is scared. She's scared. Well, Clare, if you knew I was angry then you should apologise and not act like everything is okay. IT WAS NOT FREAKING OKAY!!!

I just feel damn betrayed. Am I that mean to always pass everything to you??? Passing you the job of presenting was the last thing I had on my bloody mind.

I really am lost. I dunno what to do now. I don't even know if I should be angry or just damn sad.