I'm officially at my limit. Emotionally. I wonder how many more times this is going to keep happening to me. If I'm right this should be about the 6th-7th time. I really wonder how I can just keep going and going. This time it was pretty bad and came down quite hard. You want to know what I am wishing right now? I am wishing that I could just close my eyes and let everything fade away. I wouldn't mind if I forgot everything. Maybe it won't hurt so bad.

Seriously, I hate myself for being so emotionally tuned with people. It's like if someone's angry its my fault. If someone is sad its my fault kind of thing. I seriously had no idea what to do today. Every comfort words I could think of resulted in her being angrier. I was so stubborn. I knew what was going to happen. Yet I still tried. Tried to understand a bit, cheer her up a bit. Apparently it came out all wrong. And voila, got the ending I foresaw. Yet. Yet, I still tried my best and I guess that was the last bit I could handle.

I really wonder most of the time what would happen if I went to 3/1 instead? Or 3/5? But all I could think of was my life would be really diff then it is now. I'm seriously at a lost to what to do already.
I think this is the time when I can cry one litre of tears from what I am feeling now...