Been a while. :D Anyway, yesterday I finally uploaded my pics from my camera into the com!!! So today shall be a post dedicated to pics. In fact I owe the pics to a little someone. Hahaa. Hope she sees it. :D

What are words
If you don't really mean them
when you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, they never go away
They live on
Even when we're gone

Tomorrow is week 3!!!! That's kinda fast actually though last week was really really draining... But I'm looking forward to this week :) I pray really hard that it will go well. I mean I rather be optimistic and bear with it rather than complaning and regretting a choice I made. Anyway this weekend was great!!! No more MSA!!!!!! :DD On sat I went back to school!!! Sighh I really do miss IJ. Walking through the gates no longer being part of a GREAT family. The canteen though it looked familiar, it still felt so far away. I was so tempted to go back to my old classroom, sit at my old seat that was no longer mine. Picture the back row all laughing and drawing retarded maps... I MISS IT ALL. Then before leaving, I bump into Clare and Regina!!!! I really miss them!!!! Clare came and gave me a hug and I really miss that. JC is really hard to receive hugs from people. Mostly cause they don't know me... But it's still kinda sad. I miss her alot!!!! When I said I will tell her when she can come over, she told me after A's. Haha. Well, June hols are coming!!! I really hope we can meet up then :D

PW. FREAK YOU.
PHYSICS, WTF.

How I wish that day in the ice cream shop would remain.
How I wish I could continue talking with you there listening.
How I wish tomorrow would never come.
That was the last hug I'll ever give you in a long time.
How ironic to be living in the same area in the same country yet we hardly see each other.
I wish I could cheer you up like I usually do.
Yup, that's the thing. Its "I wish."

Tomorrow is the last day of the hols and the whole cycle is going to repeat itself.
Days of me coming home crying. Days I come home smiling. Days reminiscing about the past.

Okay, this is plain depressing. I'm gonna give it a shot and try to like school.

Que Sera Sera

March hols are here again!!! So fast! This coming Monday is going to be a special day for me. In fact its the date that counts not the day. Exactly 3 years ago if you asked me what's so special about March 14th, I'll probably say nothing. Yet who knew the following year it would become like this? I'm not gonna say everything again, you can just check the post I posted on that date. Everything wasn't the same again.

It's been 2 years since I saw her smile. 2 years since I hugged her. 2 years since I laid on the bed next to her complaining about my day or just stoning next to her. I miss her. Though its been 2 years, I really miss her now. I miss her telling me in her unspoken yet tender ways of telling me that everything is going to be okay. I miss having her at her usual place where I can just pour everything out to her. Now, she's a fleeting memory to some. All I have left are her teachings and memories of her as far as I can remember. Distance sure does make the heart grow fonder but wherever she went, she isn't coming back. That is the irrevocable truth. One that I have psyched myself into believing after a week since she left.

Now as I think back, what really got me through the O's, to get me on to study was actually her. Somehow, that day after March hols I started studying even more. Telling myself that I am going to make her proud. I don't care if I had troubles or was struggling through Physics. What really got me my grades was the thought of me making her proud or actually knowing that if she was still here, she would be proud of me.

That brings me back to this term. Though school has been tough. With the fitting in and all. Today somehow brought me back to 2 years ago. The drive to do well and making her even more proud of me. Lately I've been feeling depressed thinking I'm kinda annoying towards my friends. Feeling envy for others and demoralising myself. But I think its just me thinking too much. Who cares if others fit in better than me? If I have to take twice as long then so be it. If others take a lesson to understand a concept and I take a week, so what? What matters is my effort in making sure I understand and can get to where I am aiming for. Who cares if my school A level grades weren't good? I wil make sure I end up in the percentage where I get my A's. All I know is that she is watching over me and I'm sure she wants me to do well and I am not letting her down. Not one bit.

Term 2 is gonna be a brand new start. I will continue to smile and be who I am; happy and cheerful, regardless of the obsticles that are coming up. :D

I used to have dreams about her, but it stopped one day. If I do ever dream about her again, I hope I'll be able to tell her these words.
"Ah mah, thank you for everything."

I'm loving bishan park!!! They freaking have wifi here!!!! Haha. I think this is being damn random but in any case... This week has been much better I guess. :)
It kinda sucks being all sad and gloomy. Guess it's not my cup of tea. There was honours day yesterday... Pity I had piano lessons then if not I'd gladly crash the ceremony. >.< I really miss IJ now... Then again I've been missing it since JC life started...
Next week is not going to be nice. Firstly, I've tons of tests coming up and they are the subs I suck at... Urgh. GP is going to be on globalization and I freaking can't find my SS textbook!!! So screwed for the test and it is counted for my promo exams!!! Sigh. I pray I pass...

It has been a long week. To tell you straight out, I am sad.
In fact, sad doesn't even come close to what I've been feeling since yesterday during Chinese.

You can name me whatever negative feeling that can be found in the dictionary and I can tell you, I'm feeling 100% of everything you have just named. Depressed? Check. Upset? Check. Lonely? Check. Stressed? Check. Agitated? Check. Seriously, this part of my life really sucks to the core. Don't ask me why. I'll tell you if I want to. This is where I feel like its a total repeat of Sec 1 life again.

Now, I'm starting to regret being in s01. Who knows maybe I should have either dropped physics or take 4H2. Maybe the environment would be better? Maybe the people would be nicer? Yeah. Thats the problem. Maybe.

I've never felt like my life has been so screwed up before to the point where I feel like crying every single day I come home. It's taking a toll on me and I don't think I can keep this up much longer. This is really me begging for the first time for God to be there to just help me. Any way possible, by any means. I just want Him to guide me and tell me "Don't worry Steph, everything will be okay."
I just want to hear those words so badly.

I MIA from blogger and fb too much these days. Well, I can't help it since half the time or actually 3/4 of the time I am in school. Sigh. You know ever since school started, I've been sighing a lot and feeling really tired almost everyday! Haha. One reason being I don't really know my class that well so half the time is spent thinking of questions to socialise and stuff. Hahah. I think if Wan Ying wasn't in my class I would be complaining much MUCH more. Haha.

And guess what? Tomorrow is V day~~~~ Dunno if I should be happy or sad... It's Rosh's birthday too and I feel damn bad for not being able to celebrate it yesterday!!! >.< At least I manage to catch them at the end though I wasn't able to talk to des, mari and nat tong...

Anyway, lessons have started too... ARGH!!!! The subs I can't understand.
Chem.
Physics.
Math.
The best thing about it is that they are all H2s. Hahaha. Oh well, I'm going to put in extra extra effort for all of that and my H1s. Talking about H1s, how can i forget? Chinese. Urgh. I don't even want to start on it. Haha. So this sums up my life in JC so far. Pretty suckish.

Been a while hasn't it?

Even though it was only 2 days ago that school started, it still feels like many things happened.

Words are stuck in my throat as I try to describe the past 2 days. It was enriching and fun. Then again, there are times where I can't help but feel lonely, knowing that my friends are all somewhere else. Carrying on their life. I feel like I'm the only one looking back at the past. Telling myself, it used to be like this or last month was the time I really had fun. I've got to admit it. It's tiring. I'm tired, trying to mix in all the time. Thinking of topics to know the rest better. Everytime I think I'm closer to them and is gradually understanding them, the talk about secondary school friends brings me back to reality. They have friends who are even closer to them and are in the same group. So I'll never understand them at the same level as they do.

Thinking about what tomorrow is going to bring, I've decided to give it a shot. The past 2 days I've been making progress. Trying to leave my old self behind and become someone who is stronger and more outgoing. I'm willing to change myself and now's the time. I'm giving it my all.

As it says, no one is here by chance. That I believe.

My mum wanted me to try walking to SA and so I did. :D
I didn't want to go alone so i kinda dragged Cheryl with me. Haha.
Anyway, it was kinda weird cause I was going to a new school tomorrow. I have to get used to taking the Bishan mrt to serangoon and then change to potong pasir. Then I would have to walk all the way to the school. Truthfully, it's kinda ulu if you know what I mean. xD If I have to walk there alone it'll be kinda scary. I won't be surprised if I get kidnapped halfway and get robbed or something. Haha. But the walk was kinda short. My mum then wanted me to go in and ask when I could buy the uniform and all.... Sigh. I mean this is kinda of last min. Then again, I can't really complain right? Haha.

After that, went to Dover to try a bus route out back home. Well, let's say it was just long. Yup. Long. Then in front of us there were like 2 seats that had water leaking on. Haha. It was kinda funny when you see people sitting down on those seats and only 5 mins later to have water gushing (okay, not really gushing but dripping in many drops down on them.) I felt really bad for laughing. Okay, in fact I'm being pure mean here. Hahaha. So I shall apologise. :)

Just now, had to drop by shop and save to buy lettuce. Sigh, I really should consider having a third name. Haha, if my mum does ever find out. I am screwed for life. I can't even get to experince JC life if she finds out today. I probably have to spend it in hospital. Hahaha.

Today was kinda good in a way too that I managed to post out 5 letters. Saying the things I've been wanting to say in a long time. Trying to mend some stuff with others.

Well, I think one thing that really got to me was the posting on fb. I think this is one of the reasons why I hate going on fb. Whenever you post on someone's wall, it'll be emailed to you and yeah I get it that it can be irritating and all. But I think shut up does have its own way of hurting you somehow. Next time I want to converse with someone. I'm sticking to MSN.

Yesterday was rather sentimental. Thinking back to primary school, the joys and the sadness. Well, 4 years later, I can't remember much of my 6 years there. Probably the me being bullied and the me being scared on the first day are probably those that would stay there in my mind.

Then came secondary school. I think I've never stated it before on this site. So I shall do it now. I hated my Sec 1 life. Yup. It was probably one of the worst experiences in my life. As I look back on it now, I really was being pushed over that time. Thankfully, Sec 2 I made new friends and things became much enjoyable and bearable. After that, came the best 2 years of my life in IJ. :D Sure there were some bad experiences but overall, I had fun. I am really grateful that I made it into this class of mine. Met new people and learnt to change for the better.

And here I am now. One day left to catch up on the people I will miss. One day more before I am once thrown into a new environment and left to fit in. Though I know it won't be an easy ride fitting in to a new class to new people, I would try my best still. After experiencing a year or so of being in a new class with new people, I think I should be able to pull through. Afterall, I still have you guys right?

(This is getting rather sad. So I shall say my piece.)

To my closest bunch of friends; Averil, Cheryl, Desiree, Florence, Marianne, Roshini, Sheryl Ann, Natalie Tong and Shermain.

Thank you for being there for me. For some, thank you for being the backyard people! It was one of the best times that I actually had! To be able to bond as a row. That was a first for me. :D To all, thank you for sitting with me during recess and just talking nonsense. :) It was definitely one of the best times in my life. To my table partner, thank you for helping me through my studies. Especially explaining physics to me! I think since I'm taking H2 physics, I'll probably call you like once a week to ask for your help. xD Thank you to the 4 of you who came on every night to have an msn conference. :D And florence? Thanks for helping me make up my mind. :D Now last part to all of you. Thank you for the great outings we had. It was 120% of pure fun and laughter. Thanks for supporting me during the O's. :D Lastly, I hope you have fun in your different JC life, if times get hard just know I'll be there. I wish you guys all the best. Good luck for your A's next!!!!! Don't forget me, kay? I miss you all and love you guys very very much. >.< Secondary 3 and 4 life would not be fun if not for you guys. :D

At last, I'm at the last stage of the spring cleaning process! *Heaves a sigh of relief.* I think I lost at least 2kg of water through sweat doing all of the household chores. >.<

Wanna hear what I did? I learnt how to use the ancient vaccum cleaner present in the house today. It's the type where you have to plug in the switch and attach the head manually. Yup. As I said. Ancient... Anyway, on the first time, I freaked out. I went upstairs trying to fit the various parts in. Turns out i put the parts in the wrong order. Haha. So the whole thing could not fit into the system itself. Haha. In the end, I had to call my dad for help and eventually, he helped me get it right. >.< So I started vaccuming downstairs. Who knew I could actually perspire so much just vaccuming! Like my dad said "I have never sweat so much like you while vaccuming." Haha.

For the first few times I would flip evertime something went wrong. For example, the head of the vaccum cleaner falling off and when the machine makes funny noises. Haha. Guess I have a weak point in doing things like this. Haha. After that, took a break and I started watching a new korean drama; Yu-hee the witch. Its about this woman who has an awesome career and all but apparently she sucks at dating. Haha. So then, this guy comes in and somehow became her housekeeper as well as her love consultant. Yup yup. :D That's the storyline. So currently I'm 1/4 through. Haha. Trying to see if I can finish it before school starts.

Anyway, helped my sis with her eng homework too. Can you believe it? She's starting to learn about flashbacks for compo! Sure brings back memories when I first wrote a compo using flashbacks! It's one of my favourite way for starting a compo. Feeling a bit sad that I'll never again write a narrative essay for the rest of my life. Sigh, moving on to argumentative already. I am so not ready for all of the new subjects...

Well, feeling really tired now. I really hope my mum will lack me slack off for the rest of the day. Which is not much...

Oh for those who noticed, I deleted 2 of my posts because I felt guilty about bitching. And I was being unfair and one-sided. So I felt it had no right to be left there and so I erased them. :D

Right, got to wash my sis's school shoes now. Sigh, I think I should really consider changing my name to maria.

Now I had the time of my life.
oh, I've never felt like this before.
As I swear its the truth.
and I owe it all to you.

These words do ring through as this day passed by.
My brother finally had an afternoon off which was not filled with any plans.
This day was really spent bonding with him and my dear little sis. :D
I really hope that we can do it again.
After lunch, we decided to drop by thomson plaza to ask KFC if they could hold my sis's birthday party there. After that, drop by the ATM for my bro to deposit money. Then this lady came and asked us "wo zhe li you xian jing, neng bu neng yong zhe ge ba xian jing fang jin qu?"
Both of us were like "Xian jing?"
(We had no idea what xian jing was)
Then thankfully there was this woman infront of the queue that went Xian Jing shi Cash! I was like oh. Cash. Since when was xian jing cash? I thought it was qian??? Anyway, we somehow managed to get out of this mess with the kind lady in front helping the other one. Now this is one of the examples why I did not get a distinction for my oral.

Shortly after, we went home, waited for my lil sis to finish her chinese tuition before heading to scoopz for ice cream~~ It was hilarious. Because my grandfather has a bit of problem with walking long distances, so we decided to da bao ice cream for him. HAHA. YES. DA BAO!!!!! My brother was so funny. At the traffic light there, he went "I take over from here." I was like okay, then I passed him the small cup of ice cream. Then he CHIONG all the way back. My sis and I could hardly catch up. Halfway through, my sis decided to sprint to catch up. Unfortunately, I was wearing flip flops and me wearing flip flops and running DO NOT go together. So at most I could was brisk walk. Then my sis was shouting back, "Jie Jie, why you so slow??? Run lei!" I was thinking, I wouldn't mind running if I didn't have a high chance of falling head first and have to be admitted to hospital. She dare comment back, do you walk that slowly during NAPFA? I lost my temper here saying: "I run during NAPFA AND I'm going to knock your head when I reach home." And she was so adorable! When I reached home, she bow her head infront of me and went"You can knock now." HAHAHAHA.

For those who are curious, I did knock. My bro was like why so hard? My sis could say Not painful one. HAHAHA. That's what you get for a blockhead I guess. xD

Well, tomorrow and the rest of the week is gonna get busy~
Must prepare myself. :D
For pure fun~

Ever worked your ass off for one whole day?
Well, I experienced what it was like today. Really really tiring.

As you all know, Chinese New Year is round the corner. And with Chinese New Year comes Spring Cleaning...
My mum has a thing about being organised and stuff (you can't see it. The house literally shows uncouth youths living in the house, having a party every night.) I don't mean it seriously. In my family no one falls under the category of uncouth. xD
Anyway, she created a list on a post it about which part of the house to clean and who is assigned to clean what. Basically, its a duty roster.

So today was set aside to clean the kitchen. The kitchen drawers, the sink, the pots, pans and tables and all. Well, it was kinda fun in its own way. Sat down and cleared the stuff. It was killing two birds with one stone. On one hand we get to clean the place up and lessen the load for the following week and on the other, we bond as a family. :D

Let's say I saw many things today that I wish to forget. For example, tiny DEAD spiders under an unused blue chair. At least I did conquere my fear and gushed their corpses down with a hose. My sister was at the dinning room doing her artwork and every now and then I would pop by to help her. So kind right? He he. I love her a lot... She's so cute. Haha. Back to point. After that, she was doing her journal reflections for her school work. Guess who she wrote about? I feel so honoured to have me being the focal point of her short essay. But I can't say I feel that happy with it cause she wrote mainly how clumsy I was and how I CAN ALWAYS TRIP YET NOT FALL! And I do agree with her. I always do that yet I don't fall...

Before we know it, it was already 5:30. I decided to take a break after washing the mats and doors. Yeah, you saw right. DOORS. The doors were so cool! They could be taken out from the sliders. I had my Ipod playing in the kitchen so my sis and I were dancing in the kitchen to the songs. HAHA. It was the freestyle kind and we would improvise on the way. Quite cool eh? I think if I did it somewhere else I would be too embarrassed to start! >.< I learnt something new today. MY SIS CAN DANCE! I think in Secondary school I'm going to try asking her to join dance club. I think she would excel there. :D So proud of her.

Anyway, tomorrow is going to be the start of a week that I'll never forget with tons of gatherings and fun. Especially since next week will officially be the 2nd last week of holiday for me. Well, instead of sobbing around with what little time I have left, I think going out and have a blast would make it more worth it. xD

Found an interesting thing yesterday. I have no idea that this website actually tracks the other websites people visit to get my blog url. Quite cool actually. It's kind of nice to know that I'm not entirely mumbling to myself on this blog and that I do have readers. Thanks. :D

I noticed it's been a long time since I last posted a long post or a post of what I consider as a normal length. So today,I shall try. Let's see... start with what's been happening lately?

To sum it up.
- piano teacher is against me going to SA.
She wants me to go NY or A. o.O I really think she has a bad impression about SA. Well, I shall prove her wrong. :D

- went round cleaning the house like a mad woman today. Finally cleared my ancient cupboard. I can actually see the base!

That's about it? Oh which reminds me. I've yet to put up the pics from sentosa. Which was like a month ago. >.< Sorry peeps. I think you've to wait a tad bit longer. (Or until I find my cam.)

Turns out my post for today isn't that long. But I'm sure I'll have tons on the following days to come. :D

Learnt a new word today. Sappu
Not sure if that's the right spelling.

Anyway, submitted it. Finally.
After days of contemplating, long hours of msn chats (thanks guys!) and talks with parents. I finally decided.
Today. I ended my life in IJ.
I pray I make it through.
When JC starts, I'm off to a new environment, off to a new start.

Today came and flew past.

Happy.
It may not be great but who's complaining?
I tried my best, it's what I got.
I have no wish to go round gloating on fb or even tagging about it on fb.

Sure I do regret for some subjects being worse than others when I expected the other way round.

Happy.
It's what I'm feeling.
Not regret nor sadness.
Content is what I'm feeling.
That's all you have to know about today.
Nothing more,nothing less.

Its finally here.
When its here, i'm numb.
Nothing goes through my head.
The only thing I can do as I nervously enter the hall.
Is to tell myself.

Que Sera Sera.
Whatever will be, will be.

My dear friends.
Don't be nervous.
If you're meant to get it you will.
It may not be great.
But the best thing after that is knowing.
We Tried Our Best. :D

Well, I have no idea how to start this but just face it head on?
Today is definitely on my list of one of the best days in my entire 16 years of my life. :D

We (Cheryl and I) went to Averil's house today! First of all she lives quite far and I promised her last week we would be there by 9. (If we could she would treat us to lunch. xD) So anyway, I woke up at 7:05 and got ready to meet Cheryl at 7:55. One thing I can say to sum up how I felt at 7:05 this morning was: dead tired. Really wonder how I'm going to adjust when I start JC life. Well, Averil, I hand it to you for being able to drop by my place at 9:30 before O's. Really remarkable.

Anyway, when we reached there we seriously spent the whole day playing games. Like board games and stuff. Never did we once touch the com or television! I feel so accomplished!!!! I mean usually my idea of friends coming over would be hogging the tv and com so today was definitely a BIG change and an AWESOME one too I might add. The first game was UNO stacko. Well, as most of you know I was unsatisfied with how that game ended the last time and so I wanted to have my fair share of winning too!

So out came the blocks and out came my bad luck. If I were to have a say in this (which I do,) I totally blame my losing streak on my sitting place! HAHAHA. I mean COME ON! WHO THE HELL CAN LOSE 4 GAMES IN A ROW? IN A FREAKING ROW????? Ans: Stephanie. Sigh. I actually admitted it!!! Well somehow at the end we concluded it was cause Cheryl was there. xD But I'm not that mean... It's entirely the feng shui's fault! it wasn't good there! (Who am I kidding?) Sigh. Yeah okay. Moral of story? Steph CAN'T play UNO stacko.

After being fedup with the losing streak, I decided to swap place with Averil, :D So kind right? She actually swapped places with me. Anyway, we played monopoly DEAL! Best game! Hahaha. Tempted to buy it one day. Well, finally a monopoly game which I didn't lose, be heavily debted or downright poor. :D One reason would be it's actually impossible with the cards version but who cares? I didn't go bankrupt for once! Thank Goodness the losing streak stopped at UNO.

After that, we played cludo!!! That game really brings back memories. It is really a very interesting game. Requires brain cells!!! >.< By the way, its idiot proof. So don't need that many. Haven't had so much fun in a long time.

Next up, hah. Something I'm gonna remember in my entire life. We played pictionary! First time in my life I actually played that game. It was alright, just that I conclude I can't draw dustbins, diapers and french toast. I got to hand it to averil. Her drawings were actually guessable(if there was such a word) especially her lamp. :D I give her a star for her lamp. :) It was nicely drawn, Haha. Mine were just hopeless. Well, Cheryl's ones were... yeah. Not that bad. But some were undistinguishable. Like gold was portrayed as goldilocks which was portrayed at 3 bowls, bed and a stickman in pants with a x3 next to it? It was hilarious. Haha. But I have to compliment her for her effort. :D GOOD JOB BOTH OF YOU!

Wanna hear what stupid things I said?
Me: *drawing french toast. Got the toast stuck at french.*
(times up.)
Me: I wanted to draw the eiffle tower! But it's in Paris!
Cheryl and Averil: Which is in FRANCE!

Talk about a dumb blonde moment.

Back to the story. We played taboo next. (After lunch, Hehe. We do eat. BEST BEE HOON EVER!!! THE CHILLI WAS JUST AWESOME! two thumbs up to Averil's mum. :D)

It was interesting, enjoyable, hilarious and a sign that I need to improve my vocab. Some unpredictable blunders and discription.
I shall use short form here.

(Robot [word wanted])
C:Japan makes a lot of this.
I was thinking about sushi.
C: There was a movie starting I...
A: LOVE YOU!
I was laughing like crap here.
C:No! Will smith acted in it.
S:I am legend!!!
c:No!!! star wars...
A and S: o.O
C:I...I..
A: ROBOT!!!!!

(Curriculum)
C: First part sounds like curry.
A & S: Okay... curry.
C:next, colon! Put together?
A and S:currycolon?
Here I was thinking of colons cooked in curry....(trust me not a nice imagination)
C:Add an O inbetween?
A and S:curryocoloncurryocoloncurryocolon...
Oh! CURRICULUM!!!!!

Yup. One of the few moments of craziness. I conclude playing taboo while drinking Green tea sure drives you nuts. :D After playing about 500 over cards we gave up. Decided to chill out and talk. :D Babbled nonsense on my part. HAHAHA. Averil and I disturbed Cheryl most of the time though. Her and her 'piggy-chan~'

I was really reluctant to go but I had to come home right? If not my mum would really kill me(slaughter actually.) Eventually we left at 5:30. I really didn't want to leave. Well, good times got to end right? Haha. The train ride home was, fun? We bounced to Jurong East and back cause it was so packed we couldn't even put our toes in. Anyway, I was so tired that I was nodding away in the train. But it was 100% pure fun today. And I'm thankful for it. :D

So thank you Averil for having us over today and withstanding our nonsense. :D It was really really fun and we shall do it again! And to Cheryl, thank you for inviting me to come along and for waiting for me when I was late. >.< Really, thank you guys for today! Love you both very very much. :D

Yup. End with a famous quote. (Averil told me this. Us actually.)
Confucious say: Time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like banana.

My first post in the new year. This really brings back many memories from the time this blog was started which was about 5 years ago? Wow. It's long.

That day blogs were like the "in" thing and so my best friend and I decided to create one together. :D But you know the usual stuff happened with PSLE ahead and soon to Sec 1, with us going our different ways so somehow or another, this blog became mine...

Let's just say I got mixed feelings about it? I am definitely sad that we somehow lost contact of each other. As in we hardly ever talk nowadays. BUT (there is always a but when it comes to things like these.) I'm really glad this blog became mine because this blog has really bacome my pillar of support that is strong enough to handle my anger, sadness, frustrations. I think this blog can really be called my other self. :)

I only noticed it that I always come to my blog when I'm angry (mostly family problems). So. Every now or then you'll see that my post are short, precise with lots of cursing and swearing or sometimes just pure emo. Yup. My true self I should say which is sometimes hidden from my friends. :D

Point is. 5 whole years and on-going. I can actually imagine me 30 years down the road and still posting on this blog. Won't that be cool? I mean, you get to see me posting my life as a 12-year old then a 16 then me having my first boyfriend then me having my first holiday trip with my friends round the world then me seeing my bro get married then me getting married then my sis getting her turn then me being an aunt and who knows 30 years is a long time I could even be a mum by then!!!

(Okay, I'm gonna get old. thinking about these things is making me go urgh.)

Back to the point. This. blog. is. old. Hahaha. Well, I hope it gets older! One mistake of mine was not recording down the date this blog was created but I still remember how it was created! Sure gave us hell lots of problems. I think the blogskin wouldn't fit. The tagbox was floating somewhere in cyberspace between the website of origin and my blogsite. I would really like to thank Chloe was fixing it up for us that day. We sure gave her many problems but she did it anyway. Though we aren't on friends terms but I would really like to thank you. :)

Anyway, haven't really had the time to post pics on the sentosa trip on this blog. I shall do it soon. (soon....) When I feel like it. xD

Yesterday it was going on and on that facebook tops the list for the most frequent website in US. Sayling how 8.93% of the poeple visit facebook. Here I am thinking,that is not me. Haha. Those of you who know me, my facebook acc is rotting away in the cyberspace. If I could imagine it, my accounts on the various websites are placed in drawers and I have a special drawer that falls under unused. The file in there would definitely be my facebook acc. HAH. Covered with dusts and all. Since I'm on this topic, I really feel like logging into my facebook account and see what happened while I was away.

On a side note. I am irrevocably, definitely and absolutely ADDICTED to Glee. Yup. There I typed it. That series is one of the few American series that I actually watch and admit that I'm addicted to. Well, like all shows, some of the characters there are to be hated. Like Quinn being a total bitch and all. Can you believe it? I actually hate Rachel. More of can't stand her actually. (She falls under the type of people I hate.) Other than that? It's a series I would give a two thumbs up for. I'm desperately trying to finish Season 1 before 2 hits the screen on 25th jan. Sad thing is that 25th Jan is just 2 days before I start school. Urgh.

Well, I don't mind buying the 2nd season. If we ever drop by JB again. :D This has been one hell of a long post so I shall stop here. Wanna know what's been going on lately? I stopped watching naruto and pre-stopped maple (I really have the phobia of partying people now. But I am making sure that I actually do a ludi PQ once. Haven't done it in my entire 16 years.)

Been a while hasn't it?
Its officially 6 more days till 2011!!!!
o.o fast. I can't even believe it!
Weird thing about today is that I'm feeling extremely happy and cheerful today! In fact its worse than weird.

Anyway. wanna hear my new year resolution? I aim to stay strong whatever may happen in JC/Poly. Stay cheerful and never pull a down face longer than an hour!!!

Quite cool eh?

Life may suck, so? deal with it.
Life may throw the wrong cards, so? keep switching till you receive the right one.
Life may be a rocky ride, so? Buy a posche and enjoy the ride!
Life may be a winding staircase taking you round and roung, so? Take a step at a time
Life may have a pile of laundry blocking you, so? Wash them one by one, who's complaining? Time is God's not yours, so why can't have the time?
Life is a bed of roses. Nice on the outside but always covered with thorns. How to deal with the thorns? Friends are like the clippers to snip off the thorns and help you feel more comfortable.
Final say? Screw the troubles and worries and enjoy the present!

(That's what I feel. Screw the obsticles, love the present :D)

Today, as I looked up at the clear blue sky with my heart thumping wildly after cycling up the hill.
I was thinking how many, who are dear to me, are staring up at this same sky?
Even though today wasn't that great, I still thought,
I am happy to be right here, right now. :D

Yesterday was EPIC. Rosh bet with me that she wouldn't be late but rosh being rosh still came late. Haha. So in the end we got her to pay for GST. Hahaha. We were supposed to shop at novena that area but there wasn't much so we went to Bugis instead. Bfore that though, we had lunch at Seoul Yummy awesome korean food!!! Haha. Rosh ordered some spicy chicken thing which came first but when most of us finished, she was barely half way done. I need to hand it to her for her talent in eating so slowly. Haha. In a good way. She wanted to prove to us that she could finish it in 8 mins but being her, it never did work out that way. :D





All of us at the restaurant. :D Then came the bill part. Haha. Mari and Rosh were busy in their own world talking about Iphone and the greatness of it. So, Averil, des, sherm and I decided to spilt the change among all of us. So Des calculated and we were suppose to get 40 cents back. Haha. I had tons of 5 cents thanks to a certain someone. So I swapped some of the coins and in the end there was 6 5-cents coins and 1 ten cents and a twenty cents coin. Yup, when those two found out that they had to spilt the 5 cents coins they fought. HAHAHA. They almost tore the receipt. Well, some pics of it. :)









Yup. That was how the receipt looked like in the end~ Anyway, at Bugis St. We walked the whole place and I think we ended up where we started off at least 3 times bacause it was so crammed with shops that we turned here and there only to end up at the same spot. Haha. Bought 2 hairbands to go with my new year clothes.. I actually bought a sleeve-less shirt that looked so cute but when I tried it on, I looked weird. So now it's my sis's. Hahaha. So nice right? After shopping for about 2 hours, we sat down at Mos, only to play hangman on the Iphone. Hahahah. Funny thing was each of us were getting words from dictionary.com and testing each other. We spilt into 2 groups, Rosh,des,me and Averil,mari,sherm. Haha. Should've taken pics then too... Oh well...

Anyway, on to the next topic. TODAY! Well, went for my 2nd bloodtest in my entire 16 years of my life. So had to wake up at 8. Funny thing was the night before, I had a nightmare about the stupid bloodtest that invovled stabbing myself with an arrow and a pencil to draw blood out. Yup. Not pleasant at all. Back to my point. Left the house at 8:45. Got my shot at 9:55. I went there with the impression and my dad telling me that it would be the same as the blood test I took a few years ago when the doc thought I had dengue. It was the pricking of the middle findger type. So I thought how bad could it be? HA. Apparently it was the syringe type when the nurse probe your arm to find your vein and stick the syringe in. The one I dread and never had before. So it was a not so nice experence with me panicking at first. I found out today that I can't stand looking at people drawing blood out. Haha. They placed a band-aid at the wound there. I can actually take it off now but it's aching. So I dare not touch it. According to my dad, there will be a blue-black. Haha. More of a blood clot under my skin actually.

So far my day has been...interesting I guess. After the appointment, we headed off to Holland V.!!! Haven't been there in a long time. Had Nasi Lemak for brunch. Since I had to fast for the blood test and it was already 11 by the time we reached there. Thus, we had BRUNCH! Haha. Got to see the famous windmill!!!! While driving home, I saw this.



Can you believe it? DBS next to Citibank which is next to Standard Chartered which is next to HSBC. Seriously, 4 banks in a row? I was so amazed that I had to take a pic of it!!!!! HAHAHA.

Guess I shall stop here for now. Been a long post! :D Hope I will be able to catch up on my sleep later. He he.

For a very special friend who is troubled with too many things happening at once.
Just to let her know, I don't blame you. I understand that you don't want to tell me but I want you to know that I'm always here.
I love you. :D

'Things are gonna get better'- David Archuleta

Everybody's got that time in their life
When everything hurts and nothing's right
But you gotta walk on,yeah you gotta walk on.

Everybody's got a piece of their heart
That's been stepped on and torn apart,
But you gotta be strong,Yeah, you gotta walk on.

'Cause I, know, it's hard to have the strength and,
Sometimes,You can't get through the day but,
Things just float on by like a river in the night.

But I know things are gonna get better,
And I know things are gonna be fine.
And I know life is gonna get better,
Standing here together,
Yeah, we're gonna be fine.

Everybody's got that one regret no matter how they try, they can't forget,
But you gotta move on,yeah, you gotta move on.
Everybody's got someone they've lost,
And they can't believe they're really gone
But you gotta live on, yeah, you gotta live on.

'Cause I know it's hard to have the strength and,
Sometimes all you feel is pain but,
time keeps floating by On that river in the night.

But I know things are gonna get better,
I know things are gonna be fine
And I know life is gonna get better,
Standing here together,yeah, we're gonna be fine.

I've been shown hope,we've seen it in your eyes
So take me, touch me,
'Cause with a little bit of love we can win the fight,
With a little bit of love we can see the light,
With a little bit of love it'll be alright.

And I know things are gonna get better
And I know things are gonna be fine
And I know life is gonna get better
Standing here together,Yeah, we're gonna be fine.

Walk, walk, walk the line,
And keep, keep, keep walking on,
Keep, keep, keep walking on...

How bout a lil' story?

There was this girl who was shy and quiet. She was that way for 14 years before she decided to change the following year. She pledged to speak out more often and smile. So the first day went with her trying to talk to almost everyone. In fact she was happy with the effort made and thought, "Hey, I may actually love it here." And so a few days passed before the next ecounter that changed her life.

It was at a bus stop. The day was fairly alright. With the usual nagging and homework given by the teachers. The girl was quietly sitting at the bus stop, thinking about what she should do when she reached home. A few minutes later the bus arrived. She looked up and something nudged her to glance at the queue. Just seperated by one stranger, a girl wearing the exact same uniform was standing behind and for a moment they just stared. Until the other girl raised her hand to wave and flashed a smile.

This girl on the other hand was momentarily stunned. The only thing she could do was smile. :D <- a big one like that. But in her mind, frantic thoughts went through her head. Questions such as 'Do I know her?' and 'Have I seen her before?' ran through her mind. So she looked back at the bus and started moving down the queue to move up the bus. She then sat at the middle of the bus near the exit while the other girl walked up to the end of the bus. Being shy, she didn't dare to look up. For the 15 minutes journey home, she kept her eyes locked on the floor, feinting interest in her own file that she carried. When her stop came, not knowing if the other girl was still in the bus or not, she hurried off the bus, blushing in embarassment for not recognising the girl. So that was the start. The start of a friendship which would last for a lifetime.

Want to know the ending? Well, you've just got to sit and watch. All I can say is that the main girl went through a lot of ups and downs. Experienced the pain of losing a friend and making new ones. The joy of forgiving and forgetting. The other girl on the other hand played a main role in this girl's life, encouraging her and teaching her the fun in life. What happens to these two girls? Let's just say they became the best of friends.

(Sweet story, isn't it?)

Let's say yesterday I wasn't feeling that great.
It was a downhill for me.
Anyway, last night was fun!!!!

Really sad that the sailing mates I've been with for 2 years, who've seen me at my worst during the competition and gave me the encouragement to continue and complete the course, will be finally going our seperate ways. For one, it was the most interesting dinner I ever had. Then again, dinner with my team is always entertaining. xD We ate at Seoul Garden at City Square Mall. He he. The waiter there was blur? I noticed a trend among trainee male waiters. They are blur, stone face and very much unhelpful.

On the bright side, our table broke the record of being the messiest in the restaurant! Hahaha. Seriously, when I went with Clara to the washroom, we were looking at the other tables, boy were they neat. Well, probably due to the fact that we had 6 people squeezed at a table meant for 4. Haha. The waiter wanted to split us up which will then totally defy the need for having a team dinner...

Anyway, we took tons of pics with Cleris's cam. Joy really hogged the com taking pics of herself. Hahaha. Spent most of the time playing with the 'Fish eye-view' function. HAHAHA. Hilarious.

It was really sad, I think that night will be one of the nights I would cherish and remember. Come to think of it, shall I do a list of one of the best nights in my life? Haha. No order.

1. Yesterday night.
2. Averil's house after her confi.
3. Grad night.

Yup. So far that's my list for this year. :D

You know what.
I thought it was different.
I thought we were closer.
Guess it was a lie.
We are back to square one.
What difference does it make?
Whatever happens, happens i guess.
I've given up trying to bridge the gap.
Given up trying to change your mentality.

Many things happened this whole week. First half of the week anyway. Let's see I have 20 mins there about to crap out everything that has happened. :D

Monday had the sppointment. THE appointment. Then met up with Tze An to watch Harry Potter!!!! It was awesome~ But next year, I would probably forget what happened. Haha. It was tiring yet fun.

Yesterday was the best! Averil and Cheryl came over for a "movie marathon". Sadly, we only watched 2 movies. Haha. BUT, I was content!!! Cause I finally finished PEARL HARBOUR!!!!!! The ending was "tragic" (Quote from Rosh) I was really sad that the guy died. Anyway, when I told my aunt I finished pearl harbour. She was shocked before asking me "the romantic version or history version?" Eesh. if I told her I watch the history one she would be amazed at my interest in history...

Anyway, after lunch, (which was horrible. The service there was horrible. Overall, I'm never stepping in there again unless another waiter/waitress works there.) went to help Cheryl and Averil find Mari's present. In the end decided on a DIY box that is in a shape, design rather, of a CAKE!!! So cool right? Sounds easier than creating it. Summary?

- Used our hands and had dark brown damp "clay" stuck all over our hands.
- an hour to finally get the brown stuff into a dry nice ball.
- an hour to get in unto the box itself. (Cheryl's talent)
- Yellow lines were made!!! With exact measurement! (Averil's talent)
WANNA KNOW MY TALENT? Able to make Averil laugh by laughing. :D
- Another hour gone by trying to put it together.
Eventually, IT WAS DONE!!!!! GREAT JOB PEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Treated ourselves to ice cream~~~~

Today, celebrated Mari's birthday!!! Reached Somerset super early. But timed it such that I actually bumped into Averil. Hahaha. GOOD TIMING!!!!
Anyway, watched Easy A. Funniest show so far. I really laughed a lot in this one. Haha. Up next is definitely Rapunzel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One can fake many things.

I faked my laughter.
I faked my happiness.
I faked my personality.
I faked my tears.
I faked my hugs.
I faked my words.
I faked my thoughts.
I faked my enjoyment.
I faked my tiredness.
I faked my joy.
I faked my messages.
I faked my feelings.
I faked my smile.
I faked my look.
I faked my tone.
I faked my interests.

In fact, I can fake everything and anything,
The only thing that I can't fake is faking itself.

It feels nice to know that there are actually some people out there reading my mundane blog. >.< So I'd like to say, THANKS FOR READING!!!! It kinda gives me a warm feeling that I'm not just writing to myself. Hehe.

Anyway, I had a weird dream yesterday... about my mum and brother in some funny storyline. Sucks that I forgot. Anyway, three words, it was weird. Well, time is passing by damn fast. Who knew it'd be Dec already? Sigh. It's tiring to go on and on about what i'm doing today and all, so I shan't touch that topic today. Thinking about it, it's been a long time since I posted a song right? Then again, youtube isn't my best friend...

Anyway, want to know how awesome google is? I was watching naruto shippuuden and I was dying to know if Gaara died. So I decided to try google since it's EVERYONE'S BEST BUD!!!! I was skeptical about the search but who knew there were actually people like me who were curious on what might happen? I typed, "Did Gaara die" and really! Poof! There were like 100+ hits and they had the answers!!!! xD Even my mum couldn't believe it.

I'm trying to will mself to hate sasuke cause he's gonna be a bastard for the rest of the show... but it sucks to have him becoming so cool... Okay, that was random. Haha. Anyway, on the 10th they're gonna have STGC!!!!! Somehow, I manage to get an email for getting a free ticket but I have to be one of the first 1200 people. Sigh, thinking about queuing up with those desperate people is making me hesistate. Plus, I'll be going alone... I shall slowly think it through then...

Been kind of a long time since I last posted. I wasn't really in the mood to post today but doing blogsurfing changed my mind. I think the start of Secondary school life is kinda depressing. Anyway, today I was clearing my books, (deciding on what to burn and give away and what to keep) then I stumbled unto my sec 1 drama journal. As I flipped through the pages I was wondering was that me? Those childish writing ways that lacked sophication and were filled with expression. That was the 13 year old me. Funny how I don't remember what I felt like while writing those entries.

As I look back, I think they did have a reason for not liking me. I mean, I don't even like myself then. Personality I mean. Now, I feel that I've changed a lot. 4 years sure changes one. Really, if I had a choice I would not want to re-live my Secondary 1 life. After a year, it was much bearable as I learnt to let go and move on my own strength to meet new people and soon they became my pillar of support. Looking at my 08 journal, I saw that without those people by my side I would loath Secondary life.

Well, this is kinda getting depressing right? So I shall talk about happy stuff. Yesterday went to ecp to cycle. Had tons of fun!!!! Took a few pics but sadly, I don't have the USB cable to download the pics onto this com. So it has to wait for the weekend then. xD

Guess I shall stop here. Wanna watch chopped. >.< Awesome show. :D

Just want to end with a line that I saw in a shop that I found very useful.

For those who have been insulted, trying saying this to them:
"If I wanted to talk to assholes, I'd fart."

Things have been rather hectic these few days... so I apologise for not posting anything. >.< Well, I've some interesting news!!! I cut my hair!!!!! He He. Plus a finge too. Anyway, I shall stop beating bout the bush and whack it head on. (Drumroll....) I'm gonna post the long awaited NZ photos!!!!! Finally managed to get my camera fixed, turned out it was the charger... But anyway. Its back to tip top condition and so this morning I manage to import the photos into this com!!!!

I can't really rmb much as to what happen since it was a year ago... Who cares about explanations right? A picture paints a thousand words. So many pictures will paint a whole thesis. xD

It's the mid-week!!! This week has been sort of busy, you could say. With monday hanging out with my friends at the zoo. Man, they changed a lot... Seriously, I never knew there was actually a bus that went to the zoo! All my life I thought that the only way to go to the zoo was by cab or car.

Anyway, it was really fun, with me spending like $60 there. Hahaha. We spent most of the time sitting in a restaurant and talking. >.< Sheryl had some inspired art thingy and created some pokemon looking thingy (to me) with straws,lemon and a stirrer.Well, I do agree that it does take some creative juices to create that (which I lack very much...) Regret not taking a photo of it. Hahaha.

Yesterday was kinda horrible? Starting my day of with piano... Which was really really bad... my second piece was not smooth at all.

oops. gotta go for breakfast. Will continue soon!!

Stephanie, you are the smartest person ever.
Not only did you get yourself in a mess in maple but now have a phobia of maple.
wonder why?

this weird guy asked me to be his gf and I was thinking wtf. But he kept begging and pleading and I wanted to get the quest over and done with. So I thought fine. What could be worse?

Well, him giving me a retarded nickname which I so happen to use on my sis. So everytime he calls me that, I felt like telling him, you wanna talk to my sis? Well anyway, so the two of us and another guy decided to hunt for Astaroth. Only when I reached there did I find out that none had a gas mask to enter. How perfect? I wasted time hanging out with weird ppl and somehow got a boyfriend.

Wanna know my solution? Avoid. Them. The only wayis to stop using that character. But I think of all my hardwork and stuff just piss me off even more. I so regret saying yes. Cause that guy turn out to be some rude, obsessed person. Sadly, his personality is on my hate list. So yup. Not liking this one bit.

I think this is a sign that I should go back to GE where there are NORMAL players and not DESPRATE ones willing to date any jane doe on maple.

This MUST seriously blow over soon.
On a last note, I'm banning myself from maple.

Today was the first time I went to church after the exams. It was really weird as for the first time, the hall was actually empty! With many only coming in after mass started. I couldn't really concentrate on the homily as my sister was making a lot of noise and there was this 4 year old boy staring at us all the time...but some words actually hit me.

The question "Have you ever defended your catholic faith?" ran through my head many times after mass. Truthfully, I've never ever done it before. Friends, family, strangers. Yes, I've defended them. But faith? That was when it hit me that I've never done it before. The next queStion that came to me was why? Why haven't I done I before? Another phrase was that everyone is a thief. We steal heaven; a place for ourselves. We steal others' time... Does that make us different from real thieves? Who steal material stuff while knowing? While we on the other hand steal something that may seem as nothing but in fact is a gift for us, unknowingly.

Well, I went to church in hope that I would sort out my thoughts about certain issues but it didn't... Have you ever felt that someone close to you is slowly drifting away? You want to stop it but you can't. In the end you widen this gap and push that person even further from you? That's how I'm feeling now And I hate it. Why in the world am I getting jealous? I shouldn't be feeling this way but I can't help it. It's not that person's fault but I'm angry at the person. I really have no idea why I'm feeling like this... It feels as if a kin of mine is being taken away and I can't stop it.

Anyway, played maple and this rude bastard just pissed me off. He wanted me to switch chAnnel which I was about to and this smart ass decided to threaten me sayin he'll take out his main. Like I freAking care? What can your main do to my charac? Since when do YOU own the freaking map??? Would it hurt to ask nicely? Will it kill you? That Ass of a guy seriously pissed me off after that. If I hadn't seen whAt he wrote after I switched channels, I would have said all the vulgarities in
the diff languages if I could.

Feeling tired and pissed.

Just back from Averil's house after grad night yesterday. Really tired. On top of that my eye is aching (if an eye could ache) I mean it hurts everytime i blink and it's as red as a tomato.The weird thing is that its only half!
I have this weird thought that it was because of the pillow I was sleeping on poking my eye. That's why in the morning it was sore. But then again the reason sounds ridiculous. Hahaha.

Grad night was okay. The food was not too bad but I feel that it wasn't really worth my money. But everyone looked damn diff and pretty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *squeal* Seriously, my class is filled with pretty, gorgeous people!!!! It's kinda sad to think that yesterday night was the last time I'm gonna see the scholars this year. Really sad, I'll miss many of them!!!!!!

Anyway, back to today, we watched like at least 4 movies with some being really stupid, actually it's just one. Played Uno Stacko too!!!! Damn fun!!!! (Though I lost the most number of times) Then again its luck. Hahaha. We shall have a rematch Averil! >.<

Tomorrow there is personal taste!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Can't wait for next week!!!!!!



At this point in time, I'm really missing everyone.

You can say that time really went by very fast. To the point where I thought it was still monday today.

Yesterday's chalet left me with mixed feelings. Sure I had fun but the packing up always sucked. I was bringing home melted ice cream yesterday and it was HOKEY POKEY!!!! AWESOME ICE CREAM FROM NEW ZEALAND!!!!!! On top of that, yesterday I was really really tired. But it was fun!!! Dropped by Cheryl's place after the chalet to get maple from her. >.< plus audi and a few other stuff. Hahaha. Tried playing residence evil after such a long long time.... Well, my techniques weren't that great but I could still shoot! HE HE. Who knws maybe I can joing shooting the next time round. Hahaha.

One thing's for sure I hell don't want to be insulted by her bro again... Haha, I mean his insults were kinda true I can't blame him cause after all I SUCK at maple. Yup, an online confession from me. But I can't help it right? Since I HARDLY play any com games. If you actually manage to get me hook on something. (I take my hats off to you :))Seriously speaking, maple has indeed changed a lot!!! OMG. I LOVE MY DRAGON SO MUCH NOW!!!!!!!!! Talking about dragon, I got criticised yesterday for coming up with retarded charac names by her bro too. Haha... I think I'm too kind to actually let him say anything and everything about me without rebutting. Oh well, I shall conclude that he is a very stright forward person that says everything and anything that is on his mind.

Anyway, yesterday, I went with Sheryl to eat PIE!!!!! THE PIE WAS THE BEST I'VE EVER EATEN!!!!!!! It's not the macs kind of pie (to be on the same standard as macs pie is really urgh for me :D) It was like really high. Like layer after layer.
Shall I list them out? starting from the base.
Hot crispy pastry with chocolate.
Filled with cream.
Layered with cake.
Cream again. (They use tons of cream~)
cake. :D CHOCOLATE~~~
CREAM!!! WITH NANAS (Go figure.)
C.R.E.A.M.
Then for the toppings, nanas and choco!!!!
(That's for chocolate banana tart!!) Mind you, I'm only talking about a slice which is damn big!
If my phone had connections to this com, I would've posted a pic. (To make you drool!)

Anyway, wondering what Sheryl ate? She had mixed fruit tart. Haha. Let your imagination run wild as to what it looked like. Overall, it was DAMN NICE!!!!!!!

After such a long time I can finally state on thie blog.
I'M GONNA WATCH NARUTO~

It's finally the day tomorrow!!!!! I'm so happy. This major exam is finally ending tomorrow.... I really hope the hardwork that everyone had put in will pay off! Tomorrow will also be the first time I'll be attending a chalet :) kinda excited for a once in a lifetime experience. I doubt I'd have another chalet in my life..

Anyway, tomorrow is gonna be busy, fun-filled and who knows maybe. Tear here and there. Afterall it may be the last time I see my class as a whole before we go our separate ways. Thinking about it now does make me feel kinda sad. But as they go, our lives are filled with many goodbyes but with each goodbye is a new beginning :D I will definitely miss my class. It one of the best two years in IJ! Well, I guess it's not really the end because we'll still be seeing much of each other even if we are off to the different paths life takes us to.

Haha. This ia getting really soapie. Anyway, as you can see, MY CBOX IS FIXED!!!!! A big thank you to Cheryl for helping a hopeless tech person here!!! :D really glad it's not as screwed up as before. Hahahah.

Tomorrow is sure going to be awesome!!!! Gonna play mah Jong!!!!

CAN'T WAIT!!!

Okay, I officially admit that my tech skills sucks to the core.
I screwed up the cbox, thus you can see it's no longer there cause i can't seem to get it to fit in the slot...
Anyway, sorry for the time being the thoughts have to be kept to yourself as I try to get this situation straightened out. :D

Well,it's been a really long time since I posted.
After all, I banned myself from the com cause I was tackling a large hurdle in my life that is about to end soon with only MCQs left!!!!

After yesterday's SS paper, I wasn't really in much mood to study for Physics MCQ. It's MCQ...Who studies for it? Well, maybe me... Anyway.
I've missed my blog soooo much.. I have this feeling that my cbox is screwed so I'll shall deal with it later. Starting my countdown toooooo!!!

6 more days till freedom!!!!!!!!!! It's hard to believe that 4 years of hardwork to conquere this major exam is coming to an end. I'm really hoping that my hardwork would pay off as well as for everyone else out there! I have the urge to create a whole lists of stuff which is plan to do after exams which mainly involve the computer and anime and manga. Hahaha. AFA IS THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why does it have to be this weekend???? If only it was the next then I would be free to go!!!!!!! T.T sobs. Well, i hope they have another one during Dec. Then I would be free to go....

But this year really flew by. Gotta go for piano lesson...
Next time I'm back would probably be next week. :]

Today I had a few mixed feelings. Well, the day wasn't really that great. Firstly, some bloody inconsiderate horrible heartless ass of a person decided to cut off the bananas gearing on my banana tree. Like what the hell. It isn't even ripe neither is it yours!! Anyway, next was my distant cousin. I decided to text him since we finally had a topic to talk about but you know there I a nicer way of saying you dun wanna tall to me other than saying case close. Like what the fuxk man. Do I look like some freaking stranger asking you these stuff??? Freak man.

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.


How I wish I could do this.

Truth be told, I miss you.
Truth be told, I like you.
Truth be told, I love you.
Truth be told, I'm lying.

Finally, a break from prelims!!! At last a time to post on
my blog. Sigh. Overall, this week has been very hectic. It feels as if I've been doing 4 weeks of prelims!! The papers were 'unusually' hard. You can actually hear my sacarsm. Physics was okay so was chem. The killer one would have to be bio. And here I was actually hoping that I could score for bio...

Other than exam-wise I think my life it's pretty much normal. Today is an exception though. It was one of the best lunch outing I'd ever had. Went to YIshun with Des, averil, Sherm and Cheryl. We couldn't decided on where to eat so we spent about 5 mins outside tp station contemplating on what to eat and where. Finally we settled for Seoul garden!!!!! Truthfully speaking, the lunch was awesome!!! :D Each of us had to pay 15.65 but I think it was very worth it considering the amount we ate. Hahaha. I've never eaten so much chicken and egg in my whole entire life. >.< in total we spent about 3 hours on our lunch. In fact we could have gone on but averil had tuition and so we had to rush to the mrt after that. But I think today will be a day that I'll never forget. :)

It really feels as if I took my chem paper a week ago and my bio paper on Monday or something. My sense of time is really screwed up. Haha. It doesn't feel like was cramming my head off yesterday... Tomorrow, there is piano lesson again. I have a feeling that she'll kill me this time because I haven't practiced this whole week. Haha. I'm still surprised that she said I improved on my second piece last week when i hardly touched the piano last week. Maybe this Is a perfect example that too much practice may cause more harm than good...

Okay. It's getting late and so I shall stop here with a joke from my mum. Well, it's more of the stupid thing she said. So we're in the front porch, loading the boot and she says 'If there is no space, put it in the car.'

Something to laugh about to those who get it. :D

This week has been pretty much hectic. There has been so much homework, tests and preparations! Prelims are just a week away!!!! I am seriously started to panick. I'm trying to start and plan out the revision for my humans. I'm really starting to freak out.

For the recent SS test I did really badly. (Well, its expected since I wrote 4 factors instead of 3.) If this is the kind of scores I get for a test then when it comes to the real thing, I'll be around a B4. Which is REALLY BAD~!

Monday is my O's for english and I'm not confident in aceing it. Especially after hearing the picture for the first day..... I'm hoping it went as well as with chinese. Talking about Chinese, yesterday was such a emotion rip off. The results were suppose to be released then but no. Its next week! ARGH!!!!! Freaking hate next week and the next 3 months....

Who knows, this may be my last daqy posting.

Yesterday, I wanted to post, but I guess I had to delay it as the laptop I was using last night was extreamely slow! It took me 45 mins to load the internet front page. 10 mins to go to my blog. Yupp. So I guess you would know how I felt just trying to go to a website. Sigh.

Anyway, enough of the PMO stuff. Yesterday was fun! Had a free shower in school. Hahaha. But it was quite exciting to see the torch as well as the children of the different teachers. >.< Mrs Tan's sons are so adorable! They were carrying the doll version of Merly and Lyo while taking picture with the life size merly and lyo mascots! Haha. So cute! Pity I didn't bring my camera to take oics. But I doubt I would have had the chance to take one.

Its finally the long weekend! But its a bit sad that this will be the only holiday I'll have until O's are over. Sigh. But, I must conquere the pile of hw!!!!!
I can do it!!! xD

Finaaly! The whole week of tests are over!!!
Actually, this is not something I should be happy about since the major ones are not here yet.

Alot has happened this week. I really miss talking to Cheryl cause I haven't gone home with her this whole week. Its kinda sad.... sigh. Yet, I'm excited about tomorrow! Going to Yishun for RAMEN!!!~~ Love that shop :D

I cut my fringe this week too! Took me a while. Haha. I did it while trying to study geog. I'm quite happy about the result. >.< Come to think about it, this week has been eventful. Ranging from tests to competitions, plus tons of laughter too!

I's scary to think that after O's I may never see my classmates again. Especially the scholars. Time sure is passing fast this year.


Making someone love you and trampling over their feelings gives them immense pain. 95% this fails as you lose your heart in the process of this tactic of revenge.

Time sure flies. Its the end of Week 5 already.
We finally got our prelim timetable. Sigh. I feel like I'm living in a dream. Having that piece of paper in front of me felt so surreal.

Anyway, I decided to post after so long as Ms Puja says posting helps to improve our writing skills. xD
Today will be a day that I'll remember for life. Its the day my phone decided to die on me. Oh well, all good things must come to an end I guess. But I LOVE THAT PHONE SO MUCH.

So, I'm using my dad's old phone. Well, its of accepable condition still. I spent like 3 hours trying to edit my ex phone theme to fit this phone. Apparently, the phone themes in my dad's ex phone sucked. So yupp. Managed to download some songs into the phone too. At least I won't have the hear the irritating nokia tune whenever someone calls me.

I have phone that is meant to reject calls only.
How cool is that?

Wanna know some of the things that piss me off?

I can tolerate it if you push or gently shake the chair if I happen to be sitting on your seat.

I understand if you tell me that you want to sit. But when the push comes to the shove, that is when you cross the line of my tolerance.

If you feel that I am dumb and can't understand english that you have to kick the chair i'm sitting on sky high, by all means do it when I'm NOT sitting on it. I do wonder why God gave us a mouth each. It was to speak your thoughts cause like every normal human, I CAN'T READ MINDS.

Seriously, I still wonder why I apologised when she kicked the chair?
Wtf man.

I shall be a nice girl and not curse sheryl ann.

Cause seriously, after she passed me the flu, its been getting worse...
Now I've a damn clogged up nose and a raw throat.
guess what?
I got a cough too.
And now when my nose is block, so is my ear.
OMG. I'M SO PRAYING THIS STUPID SICKNESS GETS CURED BEFORE TING LI!!!!!!!!!!
>:(

OMG~~~~~~~~~

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS IT!
I'M WEARING A YUKATA FOR RACIAL HARMONY DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND I FINALLY GOT MY NARUTO FIGURINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~

I'M ONE HAPPY GIRL! :D

Well, today was a much better day I guess.

I felt so much better after going for mass yesterday. I think I'll go next week too. After such a long time.

Anyway, something related to the piece I wrote during CE.

I am worn out and tired.
I wonder why does these things happen to me.
I hear my thoughts echoing loudly.
I see your face when you're hurt.
I want all of these problems to end soon.
I pretend to not see these things but it doesn't work.
I feel loved for just a moment.
I touch the face of pretense.
I worry about worthless things.
I cry at how screwed up these days are.
I understand that this is something I can't change.
I say words that are empty.
I dream of a perfect world.
I try to wipe your tears.
I hope the phrase "forgive and forget" works this time.

My life is pretty much messed up right now.

Freak it.

Bitching doesn't even help.
In fact, why bother?
I'm just gonna seal these in an envelope and burn it away.
With my memories.
Ignorance is bliss, right now.

Guess you weren't who I thought you were.

How nostalgic.
I went for a funeral today and all I thought was a year had passed and I'm back here again.
Looking at the flowers, white tent, bus to Mandai.
Sure brings back unhappy memories.

At the Mandai area, the wife fainted. Really scared all of us.
An ambulance came and Thank God she was okay. Her daughter was definitely scared.
I think she's very strong to be able to handle so much plus a 2 year old kid on top of that.

Tomorrow I'm not going out at all. Really sick of going out. Today was out since 10:05. didn't come home till 7. Sianzxz.... Tomorrow I shall complete Amaths and ss. Haha. Haven't touched Naruto for 5 days.

A really meaningful song. :D

It's only 4 months away.

Frankly, I'm scared.

What the hell have I been doing?
Why can't I be sitting there studying?

I wasted my 3 weeks.
1 week left.
With only 3 days for extra studying.
Freak this.

Look's like I have to go back on my word about the pics. Turns out that I brought the wrong hard drive. The photos aren't in there. Oh well. Next time I guess. Hahaha.

Today was an alright day. Didn't think I would see my cath class friend at J8 though. Haha. Oh! I have one thing to complain about!

The freaking popular in J8! Even though its BIG, there is not a single shelf selling SMALL staplers!!!! How ironic. The one they had was like 'thisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" LONG!!!!!!!! How am I gonna bring such a BIG stapler to school? And back here, I found a stapler that was "thisssssssssssss" long. Hahaha. NICE AND SMALL!!!!

I'm addicted to MOGU MOGU!!!



Exactly what I'm drinking now but I didn't take the pic. Haha.
>.< Got it off the net to show what mogu mogu was. Haha.

I just noticed yesterday was my 250th post! Haha. Slow but still. Haha.

My finger is officially half blue. The things that it can't do outweights but it can do. Let me name a few.

CAN'T DO:
1. Write properly
2. Type properly
3. Hold chopsticks properly
4. Play the piano
5. Hurts to apply pressure
6. Can't let anything hit it
7. Can't wash my hair with it
8. Can't carry heavy things with it

can do:
Admire how the blue moves up my nail.

Yupp. And the things it can do is rather pathetic.

Anyway, tomorrow I shall post my long awaited photos from NZ.
:D

Last night I had a really meaningful yet funny dream.

I still couldn't believe I dreamt it but I think God was really trying to tell me something this time.

And Here it goes. I dreamt I was waiting for a confession. (Hard to believe right?) And the thing was I wasn't in a church, in fact, I was in a garden under some hut. If I remember correctly, it was slightly worn out and there were about 3 people, including me, there. First was a Sister and a Father. I seriously had no idea what I was doing there. >.<

Anyway, somehow I couldn't see Father and so it was just Sister and me. Suddenly, I had an urge to confess. I really had no idea why. Hahaha. Anyway, so you know what I did? Even though deep down in me I was telling myself this is wrong I shouldn't be doing it but yet I did it!

I went to Sister and said "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"
And I myself was STUNNED!!!!!!! I had no idea why I did it. And at that time, all I could think of was: How long has it been since my last confession?

Anyway, on with the dream, Sister interrupted me by saying "Father ----- is here." Somehow I can't remember his name now... And so I started my confession but I didn't really get to the point of telling my sins. The sin that kept going round my head was "I don't go to church regularly." That actually made me feel wrecked in a way.

I really think this was God's way of telling me I should be on my own and make my life right, huh? Well, I will try my best and make everything right in my life. :D

Anyway, other than that dream, I slammed my own finger with a toilet door. How epic is that? Now my finger is like blue. Hahaha. And it's always my middle finger that gets hurt. Oh well. May be its another meaning too. HAHAHA.

Just re-downloaded maple again. I try and see if I can install it. HAHA.

I tell you, Naruto pisses me off.
The freaking show has irritated the heck out of me!
Sasuke has a damn inane attitude right now... Why in the world does the artist have to create such a horrible story line....
I mean its okay, but... >.< words can't express what I feel....
Anyway, I think Gaara is damn cool now. Hahaha. >.<
I'm so fickle minded.
For a while too the video refused to continue and the website crashed.
So amazing.

Today was an ultra busy day for me. Haha.
Well, in the morning I went for piano... Wasn't really that great. Oh well, my spped was horrible nd so were my scales. Hahaha. I think that's what you get for not practising. Haha.

After that, had lunch at the Japanese Shop near my house. Oh! And I bump into this awesome phrase!

IKA PON PON~~~~

xD If you say it in the way I do It's an EXTREMELY CUTE name!!! Hahaha. Anyway, at aropund 3:30 left for Suntec and watched Karate Kid with my family! AWESOME AND TOUCHING SHOW!!!!!!!!

(I saw a few hot guys in the movie too... Hahaha)
But I can't believe they had a kissing scene in it too... I mean the guy was only 12... IS actually... Well, too me its a tad bit too young, don't you think so?

Didn't really manage to do much homework either... Besides geog. Tomorrow is going to be another cramming day again. But I'll be going to view the Pixar exhibition tomorrow.... Argh. My weekend is officially going down the drain.

That's about it I guess. Back to Naruto~ (:

NEW BLOGSKIN~~

HEH.

I finally started a war with my homework!
BWHAHAHA. (oKAY, I think I'm going nuts ._. )

Anyway, managed to complete some! So proud! >.<
With many breaks in between. Haha. Up next is my daily dose of geog. Sheesh. That is worse than swallowing fever pills.

Recently I started watching bleach again. But Naruto won my heart still. >.<
Anyway, the latest bleach OP is nice. Haha. Waiting for the full version to come out. ~.~ today there is FMA!!!! And I'm sad that it is ending soon. The extra long journey is coming to an end... I'll miss my friday dose of it...

Sigh. I've been feeling sad almost everyday... Naruto.... Another episode, another guy died and Sasukke joined the bad side!!!! Sniff Sniff. All the guys I like are slowly dying one by one!!!!

I miss Marianne.... my msn partner.... Hahaha. A bit random. Sigh. There goes my UNO for the next 3 days. Hahaha.

Going to the new chinese restaurant at TP tonight. xD

AHHHHHH!!!!!!
I BOUGHT THE LORD OF THE RINGS PIANO SCORE!!!!!!
I'M SO GOING TO MASTER CONCERNING HOBBITS BY THE END OF THIS HOLS!!!!!

Even though this week is just the start of the hols its just like another week of school. I would rather call it Term 2 Week 11.

Today, I've no idea why I was pissed at someone. And this may be my first time speaking about it but I'm really sick and tired of being in the middle. Everytime its always will this side be angry will the other side be angry. I feel damn tired of worrying about both sides. Sometimes I really wish for all these to end. Today was the perfect example again.

I think I'm really at my wits end this time. Just thinking about it pisses me off too. Why can't everyone just happily get along?

sigh.

It's been a long time since i posted a reflective post.

Anyway, I feel like posting that kind of post today. I just finish reading for one more day and I thought that book was really meaningful.

It also happen that today Sheryl was telling me about ghosts and stuff like that and one question hit me. What if the ghost was your relative? How would you act?

I pondered for awhile. If it was my relative and its someone I'm really close to like my grandmother for example. I wouldn't mind it at all. In fact, I would love to see her again. I mean just picturing her walking with me. The thought of being granted a chance to meet her again is priceless. I can actually tell her what I'm facing right now, complain to her like how I did when she was still her. Especially about my mum. Haha. But my first question will be "How are you over there?"

And that made me think about death... The question that will never be answered when I'm alive is "What's heaven like?" It would be really awesome if my whole family will be there and we can have dinner as a whole family again. That is my wish when I grow up cause there will come a time where my grandparents will leave and my parents will go. So after a long parting, won't it be nice to go back and be able to see everyone again? That will be quite cool.

After reading the book, I feel like starting a section on my blog where I write down the times my dad stood up for me. Haha. Everytime its always mother or mum doing this and that but never the dad. Mums are the housewives; they bind closer with their children while dads are the breadwinners. I kinda agree with that even though my mum isn't the housewife. Haha. Well, its either your dad knows you the best or its your mum. One may know you better than the other but isn't it the best to know that both loves you as much?

"You can either become a mummy's boy or a daddy's boy. Which do you choose?"

The truth is, I choose none. As I favour both. :D

Okay, my post in a very very long while. :D

I just finished reading my manga a bit confusing towards the end where the guy suddenly died and it ended. Seriously, I was shocked and stumped. Haha. Well, tomorrow is officially the last day of school. :D A bit sad that sem one has ended. Thinking about grad makes me feel really sad somehow. I really do not wish to part with my awesome class...

Thinking about all the wonderful friends I've made and the memories with my class. I can say that the past two years are the best of my Secondary life. Up next is JC. I really wonder if my class will be as great as this one. >.<

But, hey! O's comes first right? I really can't wait for this thurs. DIM SUM!!!!! :D Gonna have an awesome celebration for end of school before cramming like crap in the june hols. Like what they say.

"What's a holiday without holiday homework?"

Well, I'm gonna enjoy my last week of school and end it with a big bang!

IT'S FINAAAALLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yupp!!!! I am super duper ultra uber happy!!!!!!!
Finally a BIG load off my chest. (For now at least..)
I really miss my blog so so so so so so much~~ >.<

Today was damn fun! But its a pity half the people I invited couldn't make it. I'm really sad about that. Anyway, that aside, next time I'm determined to make sure they are all able to make it! >.< Today made a really big impact on my life. Haha. I actually sat for my 2nd and 3rd O level paper. Even though they can be considered as minor papers, but it's quite an achievement, don't you think so? Well, the big one is in 3 weeks time! Sigh.

About today's outing. I couldn't believe it but I saw Clara and Regina!!!!! I tried waving but they didn't see.... Oh well, I guess we blended in too well then. Hahaha. Anyway, there were only 5 of us, Nat Tong, sheryl, desiree, shermain and me.Haha. Went to New York New York for lunch!Had a reminiscence of primary school. Hahaha. Tehn went to Vivo which i thought was damn epic that we did window shopping and lookng at PageOne before settling in Starbucks. Haha. You can never guess what we did in Sarbucks... Played games on Des's Iphone!!!! Seriously, she has some of the coolest games!! xD

Tomorrow is going to be an AWESOME DAY!!! I don't even need to experience it to think it'll be, I KNOW IT!!!! Hahaha. As most of you guys know, my com crashed but I'm surprised my laggy laptop is not lagging!!! xD

Finally, I can say this, I'M GONNA WATCH NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!